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About Kara-Leah Grant
Kara-Leah is an internationally-renowned writer, teacher and retreat leader. Millions of people have been impacted by the articles, books and videos she has published over the last ten years. Her passion is liberation in this lifetime through an every day path of dissolving layers of tension into greater and greater freedom and joy. You can find out more about her, including when her next retreats are, on her website. Kara-Leah is the visionary and creator of The Yoga Lunchbox.
Hi Kara-Leah,
thanks for sharing your amazing story! Sorry to hear that you had such a scary experience, or perhaps what you were experiencing was so misinterpreted by the health system. I had been studying meditation for over 20 years now and practicing yoga for at least 2 years. During this time i have also been a seeker, and read many different traditional spiritual text, as well as alternative new age philosophies. The common thread for me has been that ego seems to be an illusion. But as you say if you awaken to this fully, it can be very difficult to function in society.
I am a great traveller and what strikes me as profound is how important your “identity” seems to be to function in a material society – everywhere we go, we need to state our name, and label ourselves in so many ways, what we do for a living, what degrees we have, who we are married to etc. However there is little focus on how we live this present moment, which seems to be the way of a spiritual existence.
I meet many people who if they were really able to share their inner beliefs about the world would be at risk of being committed to psychiatric institutions which is very sad. I am not saying that all psychiatric services are flawed as they do deliver support to some people who need it -however the way that we look at what is sane and what is insane is very much based on our cultural perspective. Perhaps if there was much greater culture of spirituality certain events, such as the experience you were having, may have been looked at quite differently. Knee jerk medication, which used to be much more commonplace and is still common in some systems, can be unhelpful and detrimental rather than helpful.
What is heartening is that there seems to be a global awakening to the fact that the true nature of things are not what they seem, as you mention in your article. This is clear to me and all who are spiritually inclined. I recently moved to Sydney after 10 years, and pleasantly astounded by how much Yoga and massage and meditation seems to be offered to the society. It is a clear sign that people are willing to explore beyond rigidly held post industrial, material based ways of life. Also with the advent of internet and You Tube and such modalities, the information within can easily be dispersed allowing a better access for spiritually inclined beings.
Anyway i just want to thank you for your post and share some of my views. One last question – have you read any books by “Gopi Krishna” – he is the author who first introduced me to the concept of Kundalini.
Kind regards
Bishan 🙂
Hey Bishan,
Lovely to hear from you. And yes, I have read some of Gopi Krishna. He’s interviewed in that book I mentioned, and it makes for fascinating reading, especially as it’s years after his initial experiences so he’s had so much time to integrate and understand spiritual awakening.
The times are a’changin’ for sure… and it feels like sharing insights between each other as we all navigate this shift to a deeper understanding of life will only help make the process smoother.
I do think it’s important to remember that our identities or the ego aren’t necessarily an illusion – they exist alright. It’s just our complete absorption in these identities that we need to address. We need to wake up and realise that we’re playing a part – like actors on a stage. Once we have that awareness of playing a role, we can choose which role to play in which circumstance depending on what’s appropriate.
We are all everything – every personality trait, every aspect of being human. None is better than the other. The garbage collector and the CEO are the same, just fulfilling different roles.
Many blessings,
KL
Hi Kara-Leah,
thanks for your feedback and comments.
I agree with you that a life of identity and ego are real enough factors that we have to contend with and perhaps and perhaps describing the ego as an illusion wasn’t that helpful. Thanks for pointing this out.
I guess from my perspective, I feel the balance between identity and no identity is in favor of too much focus on identity (which can be driving by ego).
As I’m sure you and many others who are contributing to this amazing post appreciate, the topic is hard to describe in mental concepts.
I have always struggled to fully understanding the concept of “not self”, known as “anatta” in Buddhist philosophy, perhaps because it cannot be understood in mental concepts but rather experienced directly. I feel this is what a Kundalini experience is, without having had one myself.
This is why i like reading about your experiences and the experiences of others. It sounds like being freed of the chains of identity momentarily, and it also sounds quite peaceful.
One book that I read recently written by an author who described a life changing experience that could be akin to a kundalini awakening is called “How long is the Now? A guide to Enlightenment ..and beyond” by Tim Freke who is a “stand up Philospher”.
I really enjoyed the book, and also enjoyed reading how Tim handing his own struggle with the reality of a feeling of deep love and oneness, but the equally real feeling of having an identity. He talks about both states being of even value and moving between the two frequently.
Have you read his work?
http://www.timothyfreke.com/now.php
There is a video clip of him talking about his experience on the above link. I just thought you and others might find it interesting so I shared it (Nb I found the book to be better than the video clip makes out!)
Blessing to you also!
Bishan 🙂
Hey Bishan,
Great comment… loving this discussion. I’ve got lots I’d like to explore around identity/no-identity but I might save it for another article.
I hadn’t heard of Tim Freke, but really enjoyed the link you sent through. Ended up watching a few of his clips. Great stuff, thank you!
Blessings,
KL
Hi Kara-Leah,
I read in your blog that you are living in New Zealand. If so please let me know so we can exchange our experiences in this area of truth as I’m also living in New Zealand (Rotorua).
Kind Regards.
Don
Hey Don,
Yes, I’m in Wellington. I’ll send you an email.
an impressive list of suggestions!
glad you have #’s 1 & 2, getting help, first, followed closed with # 3, getting grounded
though i’m not sure about where i myself would fit in all this, these seem like reasonable well thought out guidelines
and as you say in # 8,
“this kind of experience is available to everybody. You are not the chosen one, you are not the next Buddha, although you may be on your way to becoming a buddha. That is, a person who is awake!”
so there’s not speciality in terms of being “better” than others, the specialness is the natural order of being alive i believe, and living that process
thank you kara-leah, glad you followed up with this info as indicated in some of your more recent posts, such as the one in elephant journal, “gettng out of my mind: drugs, yoga, meditation & me”
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/04/getting-out-of-my-mind—drugs-yoga-meditation-and-me/
nice photo-type graphic too btw 😉 thanks again
Hey Adan,
There will be more follow up too… this themes just keep coming up at the moment, so looking at exploring them further.
Many blessings,
KL
Hello Kara-Leah
Thank you once again for sharing your experience, and can I say your tips and advice are great. Unfortunately after my experience I did take up marijuana again, which I now know was a huge no-no (though luckily the only drug I touched, even so, too much). And a year later I did crash spectacularly. Like you, I knew what I experienced was not mental illness. I mean, I had never been hospitalised before, had a career, had a fiancee, had a mortgage.
Awakening removed all that and took me into a bliss that was beyond everything I had ever known. All I knew, and do still, is that there is so much more to life, and I want to live it deeply and with integrity. I couldn’t justify working a job that wasn’t me, or being with someone I didn’t truly love. Because for the first time in my life I experienced love, and realised how blessed I was to feel this. It may sound cheesy, but it is so true.
The hard part is nicely put in the buddhist saying “before enlightenment, chop wood, make fire; after enlightenmentt, chop wood, make fire”; coming back to “reality” was so difficult and I was so close to not making it. I completely relate to you about bright lights and noise. I recall once sitting in my therapist’s room practically in tears saying “what’s wrong with me, I can’t go to the supermarket or the mall anymore”. Luckily, he understood completely and answered “that’s ok, neither do I”.
To sum up the outcome of this experience for me, it’s like a light bulb went on, and I asked myself “what is my purpose here on earth”. Because all I had been doing up until that point was utterly meaningless. I believe there is no higher blessing than to awaken to one’s own purpose, whatever that may be.
Sorry for such a long post!
Many blessings,
Monica
Hey Monica,
It is so wonderful to hear about other people’s experiences – thank you! I feel like you’ve added so much to this article just by taking the time to comment.
Many blessings,
KL
Hi there, reading this I was wondering if I had written it myself but had completely forgotten about it. Just amazing to read this really and as I am finding after a very long (and still continuing) dark night that I am not the only one and I am not simply going completely mental.
Thanks for writing this, I appreciate it
Graham
Hey Graham,
No you’re not the only one, and you’re not going completely mental. Spiritual awakening comes in many different forms, and affects all of us differently. Glad you found your way to this article.
Many blessings,
KL
Hi Kara-Leah
Thanks for this article. I have just experienced a kundalini awakening and nearly drove myself to hospital to be knocked out. I prayed and was told to let go and breath, which just about saved me. I have two toddlers and going through this intense anxiety whilst trying to look after them put me right into the centre of the storm – which luckily I came through. I know feel like I swapped my body with a light hallow body- and am just ok but can’t talk to anyone yet. But what now? Its like unless i go with the wave that carries me through the day I’ll get really very disorientated – to the point of insanity. So it does seem that letting go is the key and I feel like there’s just no turning back now – which my ego is just getting used to. I loved your article because everything I have just been through was expressed. You really can’t explain it unless you have been through it. Mine was like 24 hours on top spin in the wahing machine. I think I have also unlocked past life karma – which I’m trying to also now process. I’m a bit scared to meditate further because of how open and vast I feel – it’s like what will happen if I go even deeper into it – will i be able to function? It really sounds great in theory but when you are in the eye of the storm there can be nothing more destabilising. This happened to me because I have listened with honesty to my inner guides and have been on a sincere search for truth – I really don’t know where my life goes from here, but this is profound. Good to know Im not alone 😉
Hey Katie,
Good to hear from you. As for what now? I would suggest that you find a yoga teacher with enough experience and wisdom to guide you through this experience. Generally a swami of the Satyananda tradition who has studied for 2 or more decades is a good place to start.
I’d also suggest not meditating at all right now. Sometimes it’s better to focus on grounding practices like cooking, cleaning, gardening. Just being here now. You need to let everything stablise and your nervous system catch up to what’s going on.
It is a day by day process, being able to meet your own needs, so you can meet the needs of those around you – like your children.
Yes ..Katie you are not along ? If I had kids I would go to the park with them …preferable a quiet park no too many others there and just relax back on the slide or swing if you can and just say f it. Nothing to worry about …get in the sun ..walk ..eat ..grounding food like ..yup ..meat or root veggies ..deep full breaths you will get through this …I remember after my 1st awakening 30 yrs ago I just forgot what it was like to be a human for a while …I worked in a grant corporate office and got my land legs back after a month or so ,,,blessings and sat nam
Hi Kara
Stumbled across this whilst searching for answers to what happened to me 7 months ago whilst doing a Vipassana course. I’d like to share my experience and see if you guys think it sounds like the same thing.
It seems I probably had a Kundalini awakening on the 3rd day of the course. I went very deep
and my body started to shake, then a silver crown appeared above my head, started spinning and then there was an eruption, or more like being hit by lightning, of pure white light shooting up and down my being from the top of the head to the base of my body. Very powerful. The closest thing I can relate it to was a very intense psychedelic experience. But even that seems like a weak comparison. This happened several times on the same evening. After that sleep was almost impossible for the remainder of the course. Meditation always deep after that with visions, suppressed feelings surfacing etc. My body also started doing things by itself when I got home and continued the meditation. Shaking, extreme twitching whilst meditating which then turned into what felt like being manipulated by an invisible hand into strange positions.
I’ve continued my meditation daily ever since and seem to be getting drawn more and more into meditation and contemplating more on ideals of self realisation etc.
In recent weeks I came across a book that talked about Kundalini. before then I new nothing of it and had no idea what was happening to me. Intuitively I felt it was spiritual, but there’s always that latent fear that somethings gone a bit astray with the brain and nervous system.
After speaking to the Vipassana teacher recently, he put my mind a rest about the body jerks, visions etc. I’ve moved beyond them now and back to more peaceful meditations. Nothing unusual is happening now. Maybe the odd flash of a vision whilst meditating, but thats about it.
Does this sound like a kundalini awakening to you, and what happens now? Has it gone dormant
or disappeared with the subsidence of side effects.
Apart from all that I feel relatively the same but with the addition of a very strong interest in meditation, and some heightened awareness of energy in myself and others.
Thans in advance for any comments
Guy.
Hey Guy,
Since writing this article, I’ve moved away from labeling these experiences as a “kundalini awakening”. It can be useful to have a handle to call something, but it can also be confusing, and put an experience inside a box. What you’re experiencing sounds like it could be a natural part of the awakening process. As we awaken, our minds and bodies slowly purify themselves – hence the shaking etc at times.
So I can’t tell you what happened to you exactly, or what will happen next. I would encourage you to find friends and teachers who are also meditating and practicing yoga, so you’ve got access to shared wisdom, and a good support network of people who understand the awakening process. Be mindful of spinning “stories” about your experience, and instead just experience the experiences, letting them go as they subside.
Many blessings,
KL
Hi Guy,
I’d like to respond to your post, since some of your comments reminded me of some of my own experiences…
Yes, it sounds like you did experience the kundalini. The acceleration of energy is what can sometimes make it burst through the body. I have had several ‘bolts of lightening’, as I call them, the last one being very powerful and preceded also by a feeling of a vortex of energy accelerating. When the bolt struck, it went from the base of my spine, up through the top of my head, but I don’t really think the direction matters. In my case, the light was so bright it was actually visible to someone who had his back to me, about 20 feet in front of me. I had no idea of what I had experienced, other than it was interesting…:) When I discovered “by chance” that it was identical to Gopi Krishna’s experience, my ego started to make a bigger deal out of it. Soooo, it can be helpful to identify the experience, but as Kara-Leah already said, it can be confusing…I would say it can also take your ego off track, so watch out! 🙂
I try to think of it as just another interesting experience in the dream, and it’s fun to learn to control this dream too…But one must always try to remember that it is just a dream. Being mentally disciplined is, I think, a big asset on the spiritual path.
The effects of kundalini may be very subtle with you, ( they have been with me) and unfold slowly. (Apparently I got it easy, with almost no “bad stuff”.) It is definitely different for everyone. Best not to get too caught up in it though…As tempting as it may be, you will be better off not thinking at all!! 🙂
All best wishes to you.
Namaste,
Jeannette
Hi Jeannette
Thanks for the interested reply. I’m now at that place of not thinking at all about the experience I had, and I’m remaining equanimous regarding the jolts and contortions that now come with the meditation.
I’ve spoke to a few experts from different backgrounds. Everything has lead me to just trusting myself and what I’m feeling. I don’t know for sure exactly whats happening or happened and have decided to not label it Kundalini or otherwise, although I do know it’s a healing transformation and the only thing I can be sure of is my direct experiences and what I intuit from that.
So I’m happy to say I’ve quickly moved on from the ego getting too attached, which was the pull I was definitely feeling the first couple of months. Reading up on it just made me think too hard and begin to long for certain things.
I’m lucky enough to have been working daily with Vipassana meditation which I find an excellent
practice for maintaing equanimity and just being a silent observer of the body and mind.
I’ve also started yoga, which has helped turn down the volume of the side effects.
I’d recommend it as a grounding tool if anything else.
Good luck with your journey on the way up 8)
peace and love
Guy
Hi Guy,
I’m new to the kundalini idea and haven’t done much reading on that but I’ve had a few experiences very similar to Kara-Leah’s. The first time I also got the lightning bolt. The shaking though reminded me of my readings of Bradford keeney — he comes more from the Christian and shamanic perspective but it’s all the same right… I’m going to look more into some of the resources mentioned here. All the best in your journey.
Hi Kara-Leah,
This is such a great article- I haven’t read a whole lot on this subject, but the way you write is mesmerizing and if everyone wrote so well I would end up reading more! 🙂
It sounds like my experiences have been quite different from yours, but I can relate to some of what you write…especially the shopping malls! (still find them too draining…yikes!) Some of my physical symptoms over the years include the skin on my hands and feet peeling off, my left big toenail turning blue (after 20 years it has lightened a bit, but still is slightly blue). If I go into a state of non-thinking, my eyes roll into the back of my head, my breathing might go into spontaneous deep, rapid exhalations, my body might jump up and down, or shudder, and a smile automatically comes, (just like what I saw on statues in India, many years later). I can’t handle the level of energy that wants to come in when I do this…if I could let it enter fully, I know it would shatter me for good…not ready for that yet!
My intuition developed to the point that I often know things before they happen and have regular “psychic” experiences. In general, this is a help, but also the sensitivity that comes with this needs a new mental framework, or I end up not ever wanting to encounter random people at all. I have found that deepening compassion has been the best tool in dealing with info picked up…but it’s still a challenge for me.
Anyway, lots of interesting experiences…it’s fun and I enjoy reading about your thoughts and insights.
You are wonderful!
Thanks,
Jeannette
Hey Jeannette,
Awesome to hear both of your experiences, and your grounded way to perceiving them. Really liked your response to Guy, most helpful! I have to ask – are you a Kiwi? And do you practice yoga/meditation – ie. did you have some kind of framework for what was going on when it happened?
Blessings,
Kara-Leah
Hi Kara-Leah,
Well, I wasn’t sure I knew what a kiwi was…vague memory of knowing, so I had to look it up online…does that answer it? 🙂 I live in the US.
Yes, I did have a pretty good framework in place- from a young age I had developed an elaborate system of self mind control and I was used to bizarre experiences. Later on, I discovered that my “system” was actually called yoga, so I felt like I had sort of found home. I have gone through periods of practicing regular meditation (which for me is just sitting w/out thoughts), but if I intensify it by doing it for long periods, then I get a little scared off. Facing Mother Nature can be so humbling…and terrifying to realize how small (and powerless!) we really are!
I would say that a person trying to awaken the kundalini without proper preparation is like a person trying to cross Cape Horn in a dinghy. If one is able to stop the thoughts for any length of time, I believe it will rise on its own…
Best wishes,
Jeannette
Hey Jeantte,
Ah… thanks for the extra detail. I love how you say meditation is just “sitting w/o thoughts”… as if that were such a natural and easy thing to do… but I also know what you mean.
Hi Kara-Leah,
I again I want to thank you for this article (which i have been following for over a year now) because the discussion and dialogue it has created is very rich. I also enjoyed reading about Guy and Jeanette’s experiences (along with all the other comments) – for they have helped me gain a deeper understanding.
I have come to realise through my scientific research that much of the problems that I tend to have in understanding concepts are to do with the language and symbols used to transmit ideas. This highlights the wisdom of philosophy that suggests direct experience is the best way to know something, for when we describe something it can easily be distorted. For example labeling unusual experiences as “Kundalini” creates a binary concept (ie Yes or No) from what I believe is perhaps a spectrum of experiences. It think you mentioned this in your own reflections – is that correct?
To me it kind of like parallels when friends ask me – “does meditation work?” – to which I reply “what do you mean work?” . I don’t think meditation has an inherent purpose (unless you want it to that is), but it’s a tool for observation. In the same way perhaps the kundalini experience is what it is to the person experiencing it at the time they are experiencing it – just a thought – I wonder what others think. I certainly haven’t had any of the profound experiences that others have mentioned but I do feel that there are moments of awakening. Perhaps even contributing in this forum is a like a little “wake up” nudge. (here’s a nice poem on meditation http://bishansworld.posterous.com/meditation)
Also, I totally agree with the comments on being weary of how the ego reacts to moments of awakening because it may try and “own” or “Identify” with moment rather than just accepting it for what it was.
Just a few random thoughts (which may or may not be of help?)
thanks for the platform to discuss – would love to hear your thoughts/reflections
Cheers
Bishan 🙂
Ps I have recently read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz (who wrote “The Four agreements” ) called “the Fifth Agreement” and it expounds the concepts in this post far more eloquently than I have just done – in my opinion it is worth a read! 🙂
Hi Bishan
After reading your post I think you’d resonate with a book called ‘Self Observation’ by a guy called
Red Hawk. Your language and philosophy is linked.
Cheers
Hey Bishan,
Yep, I reckon you’re bang on. The way that we describe an experience immediately turns it into a this or a that… and language can then hide what it truly is, or make it seem like it’s something else.
And yes, it’s been fabulous to see new people discover this article and leave comments over the last year or so. It’s created a beautiful sense of community. Love the web for that!
Blessings,
KL
Hi guys
Throwing this out there for technical support.
I’ve now developed facial contortions whilst I meditate (on top of other movements), they’re quiet extreme at times and also a constant buzzing in my head much like tinnitus – this is constant noise at the moment.
Does anyone have any knowledge regarding tinnitus as a side effect?
Hey Guy,
Love your terminology…. don’t get the tinnitus. But yes, get some pretty weird facial contortions at times, which usually lead to some kind of click or pop… a release. Maybe a bubble of samskara as such…
I’m sure I’ve read about tinnitus being a common side effect too. Not sure if this will help, but I downloaded this excellent book from Sounds True, containing essays from many scholars, scientists etc (most of whom have had personal experience with Kundalini). Find it here: http://www.soundstrue.com/shop/Kundalini-Rising/2002.productdetails
Hi Kara
Ok thanks I’ll check that book out. I had tried another book which didn’t really do it for me ‘the Kundalini experience’. Just when I was starting to forget about Kundalini. Seems it commands attention. Yeah the facial thing is weird, but getting used to weird now. The Tinnitus is more a annoyance which I’m having to work with for now. One other interesting thing ‘I’ve noticed once or twice recently is a sweet perfume smell whilst meditating.
What a strange journey this is turning out to be. To think I only started meditation to help clear my mind, and now all this.
Thanks for the advice
With metta
Guy
Hey Guy,
Have heard of the sweet perfume too… It’s amazing sometimes how common these experiences can be!
I have had a very similar experience to yourself..I am trying to find out how to process shadow. The Split off consciousness. I have read so many different ways of going about it, from acting it out which some people say only reinforces it, to just sitting with it..which seems like would take many life times to process. Do you have any suggestions how to actually process very intense shadow material, not just the run of the mill anger, irritation etc.
Thanks for your article.
Hi Matanich,
It’s difficult to know what you mean by ‘intense shadow material’, and my suggestion would be to find an excellent therapist to work with – preferably someone who meditates or practices yoga as well. Beyond that, I’m not sure I can offer anything else of value.
Blessings,
KL
Thank you for your response. I was resonating with your comment in the body of your article about working with shadow material and how overwhelming it was for you. I have looked at lots of resources about how to work with shadow material and am surprised that people talk about the need to work with it but don’t offer much as to how to do that particularly in a situation with a compromised psyche, ego. I am working with a therapist who is quite good. I just look to real life experiences and processes from people’s success with working with difficult areas of the psyche.
Thanks again for the article. I am glad to see that you have made it through your tough time.
Ah… I see the line you meant. I’m not sure how to describe working with the shadow aspects of Self, beyond being able to stay centred and observe their arising with non-judgment. That alone takes practice and skill! Mostly, I practiced yoga, I practiced meditation, I chanted, I did pranayama, and I looked to find the center so I could observe and inquire to everything else that arose. My practice was key, absolutely key.
Thank you for that. That is sound advice. That center is kind of hard to find when you have had a psyche shift isn’t it LOL. I really love hearing stories about people that have hit a similar place as myself and have made it through to brighter pastures…! Thanks
I need kundalini friends…. i’m only 20 years old with a kundalini awakening, but I know a lot about chi energy, grounding, here and there of kundalini..
EMAIL ME
Hey John,
I would suggest finding an on-line group or forum based around Spiritual Emergence, like this one:
http://www.meetup.com/Spiritual-Emergence-Group/
Groups such as that can often be very supportive and you can meet people who’ve had similar experiences to you. As with any online group, be discerning in which one you join.
Good luck,
KL
activated kundalini to heal my anxiety problem and now my mental health is worst. I lost all friends bcuz ppl think I’m crazy.
I won’t stop meditating becuz I want to get passed this so I will stabilize
Hey Marcel,
Meditating may not help you get passed this as such. I’d advise finding a knowledgable yoga teacher in your area, and/or a great mental health practitioner who also understands this kind of energy.
From a totally different perspective but I would suspect Dr. Some would also advise against meditation here. Get good help and get grounded. http://earthweareone.com/what-a-shaman-sees-in-a-mental-hospital/
Howdy Marcel
I went through a period in my first year of activation where I was becoming with drawn from family and friends. This wasn’t a positive aspect of my experience and I don’t believe it’s a fundamental part of the spiritual process. It may be that your ego has hi-jacked the process.
The point of spirituality is to become a happier, more loving and compassionate being.
To Kara’s point, I too would recommend you find yourself a good transpersonal/kundalini therapist.
It can be hard to accept the fact the meditation might not be the best thing for you right now (if that is the case). You may find there is a different style of yoga (meditation) that might work better at releasing the negative energy. I was going nuts on the meditation in my first year. 2 hrs a day of Vipassana. It very nearly sent me crazy. Then I found a therapist. Got grounded and slowly picked up meditation again, albeit on a smaller scale. Less is more, I have learned.
You’ve got your whole life to progress on the path, no need to rush.
Good luck.
Guy
Dear Kara-Leah,
My name is Marina, and I am 16. You have had exactly what I have had! I believe I have been on a spiritual awakening since 2011, which lead me to many different beliefs about life and finding myself more, like what my mission on Earth is. Skipping right to the point though, last week I took LSD and had a Kundalini. I thought something had happened to my mind, like psychosis, but I aslo knew it was spiritual. So being me, I wasn’t gonna rest until I found out what had happened. I was on an emotional roller coaster for this week, with moments of bliss and pain/fear. Friday though, I came to the realisation that I had a Kundalini. I knew it because it was exactly what I felt/and saw, and it wasn’t going away. So I started accepting it, and I got moments of pure bliss, and connection to the Earth etc. Yesterday however I continued searching and for some reason I had felt really scared when I realised I hadn’t done the Yoga process beforehand, I felt like I had cheated on the true Kundalini or something. The thing is, before I have had the Kundalini, I knew I already was headed towards something greater in my spiritual journey, so I do believe it is a part of my journey and happened at the right time. Since you have had a very similar experience to me, my question is, what should I do in relation to my health? I mean, I am going to find a Kundalini teacher, I am going to start having daily spiritual/grounding exercises. But the fear that I felt was much like during my trip, I couldn’t function or understand what was happening. It is the first time I felt it after the trip. So what should I do about it in a medical sense? Thank you so much for your help, truly.
Sincerely,
Marina
Hey Marina,
First up, take a deep breath – or 10. Getting the right support where you are right now is the most important thing – have you spoken to your family, friends or a trusted adult? Is there anyone around you that knows what’s going on? Anyone you can trust with your experience?
Second, I’m not a trained medical professional nor a counsellor. You need to find the right person to speak to who has experience in Kundalini and health. Perhaps start with Tara Springett – she’s based in the UK but does sessions via Skype.
Third, observe your mind. Wily things, those minds of ours, and can make us believe all kinds of things. Be mindful too of searching out and reading too much information on the internet – it can be hard to verify sources and can sometimes put ideas into our head about what’s going on.
Most importantly, stay with your breath. Notice yourself breathing. Breath long and slow and deep – not with effort, but with a sense of allowing. Let yourself settle. let yourself be. Watch out for the stories the mind spins about making this experience into this or that. That, and find someone you can talk to in person where you are.
KL
Hi there
Thank you for your amazing article. I have a had a spiritual crisis/awakening after a second Reiki attunement. I had no idea what was happening to me. These past months have had a critical effect on my health. ( weight loss, extreme fatigue, constant fear, the sensations I feel are horrible and I have become extremely sensitive) I help myself as much as I can. I go for walks, and hug trees, have facials, shop but I still do not feel happy. I tried to explain to the doctor that I needed medication, but they refuse to give any. My mental balance is not good and I am clearly worried I never used to be like this and I cry. Any information would appreciated.
I have found a therapist online who has suggest higher consious healing, but I am a little petrified if anything.
Hey Komal,
It’s really difficult for me to offer any advice or recommendations via the comments in this post, beyond the suggestions I’ve already made. I’m not a trained therapist.
THe one therapist I do recommend is Tara Springett, because she’s gone through this experience and has solid grounding in counselling and Buddhism. I know people who’ve had great success working with her. That said – I haven’t worked with her personally so please, always check out people thoroughly and trust your own intuition.
Dear Kara-Leah,am glad havng found this website.i so badly nid some answers rite now.am A,n i had a dream.i was with parvati n ganesh(spouse n son of lord shiva),n i asked where god shiva was.they gave me a mantra to call upon him,n at dt instant,a snake rose up my spine till my neck,n the actual thing is that that part of my back cd physically feel it,it tickled.it was half cnscius,i woke up to see if an ant ws on my back.i knw shiva n snake r al relatd to kundalini…do u thnk it mght b abt dt…i dnt wish t dramatiz,bt iv gn thrgh the posts n iv nt xperiencd wt u hav,bt my emotional state is satirical lately.smtms i strt t gt suicidal tndncies…its all so intense.after readng dz posts,am startng t thng its actually intercnnectd.bt i dnt knw.i ws given a mantra,wl try it n c wat it gives.plz snd me ur views abt wt u thnk dt ws.regards,A
Thanks for your writing it has helped me 🙂
Hello
I would like to comment on my experience of awakening. I would say it was at the moment of my father passing, Surrounded by my siblings I held my fathers legs when he let go I felt a great vibration like an uplifting breath I was strong and at peace. One month latter I gave birth to my son at my first sight of him I swore he glowed. My boy was named after him. My dad was a world war vet a true gentleman he was honored at his funeral by his regiment. This presence motivated me to volunteer to help inner city kids. My mission was strong raising over $800,000.00 but at the start of this mission my mind was out of control my greatest fear was my children I knew they were special I felt even godly along with many distorted thoughts. This was 15 years ago I was diagnosed Bipolar with my opinion being very spiritual. I was hospitalized for 2 months and years of trying to find myself. I have been taking lithium and still do have strong direction from self and self meditation has been practised to calm myself specially to sleep. One year ago my husband was diagnosed with cancer through all the turmoil my being has strengthen peace is in control for our lives direction.I recently visited my psychiatrist and discussed my bipolar experience, When my daughter was two I told everybody her hands would heal one day. Now 19 years old, first year RN nursing program achieving the second highest mark of 500 students. My son also honour student, top level athlete winning 7 city track and field titles, play 5 musical instrument and runs his life in a pure sense.. I brought to my doctors attention those first perceptions of being the messiah or being a godly being were overblown, I told her maybe the message was just that they were blessed with gifts. My doctor stood up and walked me to the door and ended our visit. This only adds to my lives question is my experience a divine one or what. Last month my friend asked if my experience was a kundalini awakening, I had never heard of this so Ive been googling and found your sites and other. Your explanation is so clear, I could totally relate. Last night I listened to a spiritual speaker Dr.Dyers he spoke of fearlessness to go beyond. I wrote these words with a slight fear but my motto is “If people can speak of cancer I can speak of Bipolar or whatever partnership with the divine”. We are not alone in this journey and work at peace to put one foot in front of the other.
Hey CGL,
No, we are not alone in this journey, and finding the right framework to help us ground, understand and work with our experience is so important. In some ways, whether an experience is called “bi-polar” or “kundalini”, it’s still just a label. The real question is, does this label help me to understand and work with what I’m experiencing?
Those god-like delusions we have… I suspect that it’s the realisation of our divinity, but through the lens of the ego, which still holds that we’re separate. This makes us into a “special” one – rather than the true understanding that everyone is divine, that everyone is a part of God. Having this realisation when the bonds of ego have lessened means the delusional aspects don’t get in the way.
Keep researching and reading, and questioning. Dr. Dyer is an amazing man – very grounded. So too are other speakers like Adhyshanti. Many blessings and much love on your journey.
KL
hiiii everybody my kundalini is fully awakened and i know who am i how i created this world and now i don’t want to live more in this world….this world is truly false and preserved by me…..the lord
I just wanted to say this is a really great article describing the kundalini experience. My awakening happened spontaneously 3 years ago, I was only 30. It ripped through my life like a wrecking ball, ending my decade long relationship with a women I thought I would marry. My physical and mental health plummeted. as well. Of course I ran around looking for solutions and everyone has an opinion about what it is, what to do, but how do they know? Some of them just want to part you from your money, the experience is a maze unto itself but the help can be a deeper one still.. I of course instantly thought yeah this is it Im finally going crazy….yipeee! I tried all sorts of things western, eastern until finally I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist from the spiritual emergence network, once I read up on it, all the parts clicked and it finally made sense but what now?
I am left now with a shadow of its effects years later, my physical health is like a roller coaster and although the phenomena seems to happen less and less I cant seem to get past it like so many other’s who had it for a few years than it went away. I am not incredibly religious however I have likened it to being job in the desert being humbled into the ground. I would see things that can only be described as demons and its not just seeing them but a whole host of dreadful feelings that come with it. However with all the bad, the little good that has come from it has been more profound than I could ever imagine. And your right its a slippery slope for the ‘ole ego but having the knowledge I believe puts you in the drivers seat to observe and learn, granting you the awareness TO CHANGE.
I would say to anyone suffering, one thing that helped me when the phenomena would poke it’s ugly head into reality was to simply acknowledge it and move on, DONT INVEST any emotion into it whether that be fear, happiness, power, whatever. Let it pass like images on a screen and it loses its hold. Another thing that helped is doing meditative practices that aren’t ungrounding, like painting, playing a musical instrument, writing, cleaning your house etc. these will help anchor you in the present moment.
I haven’t found “help” yet that felt right to me. If you know anyone in the Los Angeles area that you can recommend I would appreciate it. It would be nice to find someone who truly understands and can help me grow beyond this phase in my life.
Your story sounds familiar to me. Probably similar to all those that have had the powerful spontaneous ones, Help wise its hard as there’s not many people that have truly had them
and understand the bigger picture.
Not sure about anyone in LA but for what its worth these people have been of great help to me on my journey for their expertise in their own fields. Communicated on skype and thats been good enough I’ve found.
Tara springett – http://www.taraspringett.com kundalini therapist with a buddhist perspective
Annis Parker – http://www.annisparker.co.nz (a wealth of information and guidance on Kundalini)
Marius Zwijnenburg – soulharmonicz.co.nz
(Marius can help with clearing negative disturbances – ‘demons’ as you call them.
He’s amazing and very knowledgable).
There’s also a guy on Youtube called Master Chrism that gives many talks about Kundalini, its stages, effects and technical help. I found some of his talks very helpful and spot on.
One thing I’d say is you mention you’re not religious – one thing I have found is opening yourself to a spiritual practice of some sort is a beneficial starting place for directing the energy and more importantly your WILL and INTENTION of where and how you want the Kundalini to manifest in and around you. Otherwise it’s directionless and scattered – I found for myself, tuning into your higher self and own potentials as a spiritual being really empowered me and helps me take charge of the change that is happening.
You can just as easily decide to rule it as you can decide to let it rule you. Its a choice you can make.
Good luck, go well
Guy
Aaron – had pretty much the same thing happen to me about a year and a half ago; I was 30 and half, life exploded: relationship shattered, perceptions of reality went completely off into another realm: basically combine the Matrix with Constantine the movie. Long story short – went on for 6 months, got forced into two psych wards and ended up back home under my parents care. They tried to convince me I was insane and get me on drugs and to a pastor to get the demons out. This approach didn’t help. At all. Last 8 months I was suicidally depressed and after getting some work I’m back in LA feeling a lot better – mostly because of time and coping. There is this process it seems though – like once you “burn out” you feel attacked by all sort of dark/parasitic entities. I got past this by basically saying “fuck it, eat me, tear me apart” then clicking your perception into shifting your perspective that they are all you. I switched from being in the “other world” into convincing myself that it’s all self-created. Whatever the case it’ll give your own power back to you, and that approach, if those entities are real, it creates an immunity to them or they don’t want to play with/bother you because you’re in essence saying “you’re a shitty figment of my imagination, blow me” <-most people go away if you treat them with that attitude. Anyway that's just part of this insane, blissful, confusing, sacred, but for what reason, deal as you probably know pretty damn well. My email is sonicenergy@gmail.com if you want to compare notes and whatnot, I'm still just getting out of the hell phase of this so it's cathartic to hear similar stories.
Thank you. Drugs set me off too unwillingly. I was scared I was going to be stuck in the trauma forever and never come back to “myself”. Its been two years and the wildest 2 years of my life but I am starting to feel better and recently got on low dose of meds to help depression. I’m so happy you posted this because I wonder sometimes how long it will take and why and bla bla bla. My purpose is revealing itself very slowly. Can I ask you what you do for a living besides general awesomeness.?
Hey Laura,
Yeah, those first few years were bloody tough. I used to wonder if my life would ever get better too. But it does, day by day. It’s been ten years now and the ups & downs I experience are generally the normal ups & downs of being human – albeit with an awareness of a deeper dimension to life.
I teach yoga, write about yoga, publish this website and do some communications consulting.
Great article, I really wish I had a teacher/guide when I had a nuclear awakening about a year and a half ago. First started getting visions from various gods/dieties on how to pump red energy from my root up to the crown doing a ground stomping dance (only think I saw similar was a Haka from New Zealand), then instructions on how to make a “super-ambrosia” to increase biophoton levels (yes it went from analog day to day stuff to conspiracy-theory level new age madness overnight) and how to read mayan calendars to get out of linear time. Just went SNAP one day. Bolts of serpentine energy exploded upwards and felt like energetic wings were bursting out my back and out of my forehead. The symbol of the caduceus was pretty much spot on with this, I’m pretty sure you remember in this state it’s all dream-time/archetype/symbols. Quetzalcoatl/Seraphim(burning serpent) all that. So anyway without getting too incredibly long winded, I basically turned into a Latin-speaking (no I never studied latin before) Mage of some kind that understood how to do all sorts of ritual “magic” and summon and commune with all sorts of entities, while going through the realms of the underworld with my guide Anubis (yes, this is why you can’t go to work in this state lol). Got forced into 2 psych wards, ended up getting kicked out of my apt and drove 600 miles to be homeless in the woods of Northern California where I basically had the most magical time of my life hanging out with the hippies, vagrants and animal life that I could talk to in some animal-tongue. I had to convince myself I was crazy to get out of this state but luckily I had my iPhone with me and took a bunch of videos that validated, yes, in these heightened states, animals totally respond differently. Oh and synchronicity – everything is a sign while you’re in that state (delusions of reference in DSMV terms) but some stuff I can’t put off – like being given an elk bone amulet carved in the shape of a golden eagle feather and then finding a golden eagle feather sticking out of a manicured bush the next day with the exact same pattern that was painted on the amulet. Stuff like that was daily. This lasted a total of 6 months before I reached burn out and had to go back to my folks place on Maui. Then there was about 8 or so months of the most abysmal suicidal depression. It’s like I snapped out of it and everything I built up in my life was “poof”. Yet somehow I knew this was just another phase of it; awakening spiritually is your awareness of ALL levels of perception become deeper, and a lot of the collective human experience is not rainbows and gluten free pies. I mean I was incredibly close to jumping off a cliff – it’s hard to explain the feeling of not deserving to live coupled with extreme anxiety where ripping at your skin is therapeutic. Now I understand why people cut themselves. Now I’m back in Cali trying to figure things out and life is still up in the air but I feel like the worst of it is over (knock on sandalwood). I’m pretty certain that my experience was a bit on the extreme and I blew my circuits, literally. Like going from 12amps to 24amps – redlining your whole system till all your “fuel” runs out. Then the recovery is hell. Like literal living hell. Eventually you get out of it, I did without doing any meds or counseling because they weren’t helping. Totally back to “normal”, or should I say “adapted to acting normal” because lets face it – it’s sort of like you’re living in a cross between the Matrix and Constantine movies after all of this. If anyone’s curious about sparking this, be ready for everything you know to be destroyed or reset, and when it ends you might feel like the main character at the end of Fight Club – everything’s being blown up and you shot yourself in the face. Now what? That might be too extreme but from what I heard it’s not that unusual: I think a ton of people in psych wards or on the streets are people that couldn’t guide themselves out of a Kundalini blow out, or did too many drugs when it started. When you’re in too deep, sometimes you can’t get out of the rabbit hole and the Cheshire cat’s become your best friend.
Hey Zero,
That sounds like one helluva trip… and you also sound like you’ve got a pretty good grasp of yourself as well. I’d liken it to blowing your circuits too – too much energy pumping through wires not designed to handle it. I guess that’s why yogic practices were designed to purify and increase the amount of prana we could handle… before Kundalini awoke.
Yes, I imagine that many people in psych wards or on the street have had similar experiences, and not been able to integrate them or come back from the edge. Hence writing these articles – in the hope they may help the odd person here and there.
All the various experiences that people have left, including yours, have added to that as well.
Oh that caduceus! It really is everywhere isn’t it 🙂 I get this one. I was really lost and found in archetypes.
Hi,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m 25yrs and just recently had an awaking. I just moved to a new city with a new job and during the whole process I was trying to find my way, meaning my way in life and what it meant cause I felt a bit stuck even though I new I had to have some patience. So I started looking up information at the pineal gland and freeing my mind. I contemplated it on and off for about two, then I started to meditate only for three days and it was really lazy meditating. On the third day I meditated(in the morning) I found out about Kundalini Awakening from related searches on YouTube and knew nothing about it but everyone’s experience seemed terrible and seemed to take years to get over and it scared me.That night after I had about 3 glasses of barefoot wine, I was laying down talking to a friend of mine about normal stuff, I felt this flat energy shot from the bottom of my spine all the way to the crain of my head and all I could think of was heck no I absolutely wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to have the experience of having years to rehab from it, I started to panic and my heart rate shot up, my friend though something was wrong. For two days straight, I had the worst anxiety and I couldn’t get over it, I was scared of everything and I felt like my senses were heightened plus I didn’t really feel like I was in my own body I’m absolutely thankful I lived with people who took my mind of things (they didn’t know what was happening) because I found relief in them just being around. On the third day I felt a bit back to normal. I dont know what’s next for me and I dont know what this means at all. I’ve been trying to do research on it just to see what it means.
Hi everyone,
It’s been over 10 years since my “spontaneous” awakening. If I can be of help to anyone, I’m happy to answer any questions/compare notes.
One thing mentioned here that I also experienced, and gave me great perspective, was talking to certain good friends that had no common ground for interpreting what had happened to me. I had no doubt in my mind, as Kara-Leigh mentioned, that I had been responsible for my fate. However, outsiders can give an interpretation that allows you to reconnect with your former self, should that be your choice, or gain more grounded perspective on why you have sought out this energy (consciously or otherwise).
In my case, my childhood personality was mild, fearful, and ultimately submissive to my more aggressive, dominating and fearless brother and father (I was more like my mother). My friend’s interpretation: he believes that my personality was not realized i.e. I was partly both my mother and father, but wasn’t able to express both parts. My friend doesn’t consider himself spiritual but this interpretation really said something to me.
By following a path of removing the fear from my life, it appears that I removed the obstacles that kept me from being my ‘self’.
Ultimately, once I had come back down from a release of energy; the one that led to telepathy, other supernatural powers, psychosis, near-death (separate from a car crash in which my dead brother appeared to have saved me), a flat out refusal to be classified as mentally ill, I was able to see where I fit into this world. That is to say, I had the power and fearlessness to act on any situation that I felt necessary to, unlike my life before Kundalini.
I hope that those suffering discomfort or pain from their experience are able to distinguish the parts of themselves that led to this experience. Whether through wise guides, or compassionate friends, a true understanding of your upbringing/condition may help you better accept the circumstances, and let the blockages be healed by this incredible energy.
Thanks for the great article 🙂
Hello. i awakened the kundalini last night on accident.. i have no idea what was happening. i had meditated with an instructor and she made me “breathe” in this violet flame and exhale “gray” negative things. she then made me think of a golden white light that healed from crown to root, it made my heart chakra REALLY anxious and numb. anyway, after i decided to take a small hit of marijuana which i do daily… i ended up in fetal position for hours on my kitchen floor. everything was so bright, and i was a giant in my environment. everything looked completely different.. what happened?
Hi Richard
Wait and see what happens. Give things time. Maybe have a brake from smoking for a little while to get grounded and to process your experience with a clearer mind. Answers don’t usually come instantly and they can only really come from within. You’ll know deep within yourself whats true for you. Take everything under you’re own advisement and beware of any information that inflates ego. You’re own hearts wisdom is the best teacher.
Go well.
Guy
Hey Richard,
First thing… I would suggest that you don’t assume anything or jump to conclusions. Often we can have all kinds of energy experiences without awakening Kundalini as such. Second, it’s crucial when you are having energy experiences to avoid all intoxicants. Work on grounding practices – good food, walking, hanging in nature. Don’t do any meditation until you come back to ground, and then be very small with it. As to what happened… who knows? Do you need to know? What’s happening now, that’s the real question.
ascended in 2012 and 2013 during the Mayan calendar rollover and it was very intense. I was guided by spirit the whole entire time and experienced psychic visions and spiritual related references. I believe ascension and Kundalini advancement become based on personal belief systems. The first time I experienced spiritual phenomena was when I had a super migraine I took enough codeine to make it subtle but I was listening to the voice of God or my spirit guides the whole entire time, it felt like I was growing horns and was told promises from a demon. One other experience I will mention was when I was hearing voices I heard a voice say chase, in the early hours of the morning I was woken to hear the word chase with a massive orb coming from right to left. 2 minutes later a car chase with sirens up and down the surrounding streets. During the experience I’ve experienced complete psychosis and phenomena related to spiritual stuff, I was even given a gift from an astrological deity and couldn’t stop laughing for days on end. I was eventually admitted to a mental health ward numerous times because my ascension became out of control. I have even experienced an entity work on my heart area and my eyes later to have my eye ball injury repaired and my heart not giving heart palpitations. Coming off my ascension has been hard, no longer psychic besides predicting earthquakes, and hearing my spirit guide voices telling me to give up smoking all the time, which I’m trying, and depression, but I was super psychic even predicted a Thailand earthquake 3 days later by looking at an elephant ornament and having a spirit guide voice say earthquake it was immense. Posted it on facebook.
Hope this email reaches you, and I get to share another ascension with you. I plan on buying your books too. Please respond if you get this email.
I’m a New Zealander who is now 31, is that pretty young for an ascension just wanted to know, but I use to Astral Project constantly as a child and another thing to add I had a NDE during my ascension, my spirit guides warned me but didn’t tell me why. I awoke in the early hours to an astral projection with my spirit guides tearing at my heart area, I was immediately ascended to what spirit says was the after life, with the voice telling me to meditate as I don’t usually meditate, later on in the astral projection the spirit I was talking with told me he was trying to get his wings, whatever that means. Thanks for listening. And when I did meditate I felt ascended again with bars going through my chakras as if I was in space smiling down on myself. These are just some of my experiences being ascended. When I came down from my ascension I was possessed by a demon who had helped me ascend. If that makes any sense.
So I had never heard about KA until I experienced it two months ago. Had no idea what the heck was happening at the time. Was on my first ever trip to Hawaii and had taken a time-out in my professional life to simply live. Was taking random yoga classes on a daily basis, was drinking tons of jun, and was swimming in the ocean and surviving on fresh fruit. And then towards the end of my stay, I went to my first ever Kundalini class and 3/4 of the way through the class I went into child’s pose but had my hands/arms clasped behind and above me and suddenly powerful balls of energy were swirling around both hands.
Had no idea what the heck was happening – first thought that was that maybe I was cutting off circulation to my arms but then I realized that I felt like Ironman – literally felt I could shoot humongous bolts of energy out of my hands and across the room – could tangibly feel these ridiculously powerful orbs of energy encircling each hand. I had no clue about what was happening and didn’t know what to do but for some reason I took my hands and grabbed the bottoms of my feat and this energy shot out from my hands and went up my legs and up my spine and into my head and the feeling was indescribable.
Wandered out of class in a daze and jumped into the ocean – got back into my car and while driving home realized I felt weightless and in a state of complete bliss which I’ve never experienced before.
Had no idea what was happening but everything felt ridiculously good – went back and spoke to the teacher some days later and she introduced me to this thing called Kundalini Awakening, which apparently is what happened to me.
Work too me away from Hawaii and and pre-occupied me ever since but in a month’s time I’ll be back in the States and am planning on moving to Hawaii to pursue my creative energy and to hopefully feel that wonderfully powerful feeling once again.
-Sean
I am so glad I ran into this article. I believe I have experienced a spiritual awakening, but I thought I was having a mental breakdown or something. I still feel as if I’m going psychotic. Everyday I just feel different there’s no right word to describe it. I have heightened senses including “feeling” peoples energies and knowing what they’re feeling or thinking or going to say. It’s very overwhelming actually. I constantly feel as if people are talking about me or knowing what I’m thinking, its driving me crazy. I feel as if I’m on the verge of a psychotic break. I don’t feel as if I’m a part of this psychical reality anymore. Things like driving in my car can be very overwhelming of going to the store. Feeling everyone’s energy, it scares me and I feel as if I’m paranoid or something. I don’t know how to handle all of this. I’ve been trying to do yoga everyday and it does help a little bit for that day, but then I go back to normal the next day. Any suggestions? Ive been trying to find spiritual mentors around my area (Denver) with no luck. And if I do find one, they charge an abomination of money which I can’t afford 🙁 I don’t want to have amental break, I want to experience the beauty of this gift but can’t seem to even if I try and think positive thoughts. My anxiety levels have sky rocketed as well. I’m always getting tunnel vision, I honestly always feel as if I’m high or on some hallucinogenic. Is that normal? Am I just tripping myself out? I notice too much that goes on around me, I’ll hear something that most people don’t notice, and it’ll make me jump and i feel as if people look at me like I’m crazy. I don’t like being around a lot of people because I get nervous, but at the same time being alone I feel lonely. I want to gain control of my life again but I don’t know how 🙁 I thought being awakened was supposed to be a positive experience. I mean I did have a beautifully positive experience once I realized I had been awakened, and have had beautiful experiences since, but they are rare. I constantly feel crazy and overwhelmed and I always hhave tunnel like vision or feel as if I’m I’m a daze. I feel like i cant talk to people normally or act normally without them thinking im crazy. Ive been asking people if they are spiritual, and i get “no” all the time. I dont know who to turn to because i feel isolated. I’m on anti depressants, does anyone know if that could effect my well being in any way with my spiritual awakening? I hope to get some feedback!
Thank you
– Ashley
Denver, Colorado
Hi Ashley, I know you wrote this a year ago but am wondering how you’re doing. I live in the Denver area too and have been going through this for five months, but rampes up almost three months ago. I found amazing support in our area but even then it’s been quite a challenge. Though I believe I’m stabilizing. I’d love to talk to you if you’re up for it. Find me on Facebook “Melina Stroumpis”. I do hope you found some help…
Best.
Hi Ashley
I’d say what you’re going through sounds fairly standard to the spiritual emergence experience.
You might want to get your experiences validated however – so to help with knowing whats real and whats being created out of attachment. Not getting too attached to your own story is key in letting the energy work through at comfortable levels.
Not sure how far in your are but its a long haul – so there’s no rush and there’s actually nothing to chase. Its an unravelling process, so it can feel like you are being taken apart. And of course there’s pretty much no-one who would understand apart from those going through the same experiences. And they’re few and far between.
From what you’ve said you might want to explore grounding yourself in your lower chakras rather than living in the top 3 chakras – which is where the other realm like experiences come from. You’ll be no use to yourself if you’re not walking on this planet connected to it. You can drift to far towards the spirit which can lead to unhingement.
You’re dualistic programming is now being forced to unite itself as one, so its a massive deal at every level of you’re being. So yes its very unsettling.
I can recommend this lady in link below to talk to. It does cost money, but you’ll need guidance and a sophisticated level of understanding as to whats happening and how to dance with it rather than get swept away.
The good news is you will control the energies once you gain more knowledge as to what the nature of the experience is.
http://www.taraspringett.com/
Trust you’re own intuition. You can also ask your higher self for guidance. You can literally ask for guidance as to your next most perfect step on your spiritual path. Your soul is your true guide it and it does provide help, but only if you ask.
Good luck – enjoy the process.
Hello Ashley,
I’ve undergone a series of spiritual emergency related psychotic episodes. I don’t think they were kundalini awakenings in my case but I would look into the books “Spiritual Emergency: when personal transformation becomes a crisis” Edited by the Grof’s and “The call of Spiritual Emergency” by Emma Bragdon. There are lots of recommendations in these books but I would recommend to lay off yoga, meditation, and any drugs until you come through your spiritual emergency/emergency. Maybe talk to someone about your anti-depressants and just do grounding things like walking in nature and gentle stretches. No movies or busy public places just gentle music.
Love!
Hey Teresa,
Great advice. Those books are awesome and so important to read when undergone such an experience. There is a fine line between psychosis and awakening at times, and it’s important to address both aspects of the experience.
Hi,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m 25yrs and just recently had an awaking. I just moved to a new city with a new job and during the whole process I was trying to find my way, meaning my way in life and what it meant cause I felt a bit stuck even though I new I had to have some patience. So I started looking up information at the pineal gland and freeing my mind. I contemplated it on and off for about two, then I started to meditate only for three days and it was really lazy meditating. On the third day I meditated(in the morning) I found out about Kundalini Awakening from related searches on YouTube and knew nothing about it but everyone’s experience seemed terrible and seemed to take years to get over and it scared me.That night after I had about 3 glasses of barefoot wine, I was laying down talking to a friend of mine about normal stuff, I felt this flat energy shot from the bottom of my spine all the way to the crain of my head and all I could think of was heck no I absolutely wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to have the experience of having years to rehab from it, I started to panic and my heart rate shot up, my friend though something was wrong. For two days straight, I had the worst anxiety and I couldn’t get over it, I was scared of everything and I felt like my senses were heightened plus I didn’t really feel like I was in my own body I’m absolutely thankful I lived with people who took my mind of things (they didn’t know what was happening) because I found relief in them just being around. On the third day I felt a bit back to normal. I dont know what’s next for me and I dont know what this means at all. I’ve been trying to do research on it just to see what it means.
I happened upon some sites today, including this one, about Kundalini experiences, all of them SO scary that I am really not wanting to experience it. I’ve always heard of this KA, but always had a “still small” feeling to not go near it. Some months ago I was researching the Deeksha Blessing, and was going to go and have it done in the city where I live, but again, had that small “stop” feeling, so did not go. Then I learned today that the Deeksha can bring on the KA. I am now so afraid of it, that in some ways I am hoping I don’t have that experience. I suffer from some anxiety from time to time, and from depression sometimes also. I have had spirits and psychic experiences, and am afraid if I have this KA that I might end up in a psych ward like some of the others.
I sometimes see events coming before they happen, am concerned that I am “seeing” this KA coming to me, and am having this information coming to me in confirmation, and to prepare me for the experience. I have for a few months been doing some intuition and psychic development workshops from a local psychic, and doing fairly well with it, enjoying it. I guess I’m not sure what else to say, just maybe hoping I can make a connection to someone who knows about these things, just in case? Thank you,
GG
“We’re getting re-wired on a DNA level to handle higher levels of prana moving through our system. ” Source?
Hello Kara-Leah
Reading your story is a breath of fresh air! Last year I took some medication that triggered me to have a “manic episode”. During this time i had this heightened sense of awareness. I had an immense amount of energy. No fear. I’m terrified of spiders. I let a spider nearly crawl up my leg. I preached the word of God. I spent lots of money and gave money away. I felt in tune with the radio. I would predict that a song would come on and it would. I could tell peoples deepest feelings and thoughts just by looking at them. I felt powerful. It was like any skill I desired I would have.
Today I’m currently on Lithium for Bipolar. I spent months trying to figure out exactly what happen to me. I still question that episode. I refuse to accept it was a “manic episode” . After reading your article I’m convinced that I’m not crazy…
Hey Andrea,
The interesting thing is that both perspectives can be true. I did have a manic episode. And there were also underlying kundalini/pranic influences at play. Both of these things are true. And I was crazy – no doubt about that either. I could even see that I was crazy during those two episodes of psychosis. However, holding a larger perspective than just the medical model has helped me to recover & heal in ways I likely wouldn’t have had I only bought into the medical perspective of my experience. Medication was useful initially too, to stabilise my mind and give me time to stabilise and rebuild my life.
Just chiming in here – after my experience I was put on several antipsychotics and quit them all after a few weeks. I think the hardest part about this is developing non-reactive observation to everything to feel and know that all perspectives of looking at what you’re going through is true. It opens you up to multidimensional processing – and not in a profounds new age way either: just being able to process and jump between ways of observation, sometimes simultaneously. I feel that a much OLDER part of our psyches wakes up at this time: if you observe the ways that tribal and technologically disconnected cultures live (with their traditions, superstitions, etc) you could say they ALL have schizoaffective disorder, and it’s a way we sort of view things when we’re on the higher end of the trip: archaic, archetypal, elemental, everything is alive with it’s own spirit (like Shintoism) Anyway, in all practicality – getting grounded/recovering for me was eating a lot of organic animal proteins with digestive enzymes (they seem to get burnt out/used for the transformative process) with green food concentrates and adaptogenic herbs, with root veggies and some grains for starch. You can go raw and juice like some people recommend but this usually just rockets back into the stratosphere of la la land even more.
Great response Zero, thanks so much for sharing your perspective. Love the insight about how it’s an older part of our psyche waking up… I’d never thought about it that way, but certainly experienced that archaic, archetypal, elemental sense of life. Finding that grounding it so important though.
I just wanted to share this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQgAorQpxGc&sns=em
I think he explains the link between spiritual awakening and spiritual practice and mental health very well. I also really recommend the crazywise blog where I’ve been getting most of my information on psychosis and spiritual emergency. Cheers.
Hey Theresa,
Thank you so much for sharing this video. More & more work is being done on the links between spiritual awakening and mental health.
Hey Kara-Leah,
Thanks for your reply. I truly believe that the manic episode I experience was something more powerful than a mental illness. I say that because, although i was out of mind, I still had full control over my actions. I believe that the mental state that I was in, is meant to be our natural state of being. We just have to learn how to control it and maintain a balance state.
Thank you Teresa for the video…I will check it out!
Hey Andrea,
Yes – I understand what you’re saying about that state being the natural state of being per se – only we’re grounded & balanced. However, if we’re in that state & we’re grounded & balanced, we’re not in psychosis or mania. The way we label things can be misleading too – for example, the phrase ‘mental illness’. A state of psychosis or mania can be useful, provides information about what we’re experiencing and can represent an opening or shift. Once it’s happening, or has happened, the next question is – what’s the appropriate response to integrate what’s happened? Calling it ‘mental illness’ can make it seem like an aberration, a bad thing, or like something is wrong with us. It’s something to fix, or get rid of. However, from the wider perspective, it’s simply part of our evolution and something to be acknowledged and worked with.
I have also experienced that manic/psychotic state and I have come to believe that it is a naturally healing state and can inform our lives if we can integrate the experience in a healthy manner. But I wouldn’t say it is our natural state of being. It is still what we could consider a peak experience or altered state of consciousness.
Hey Teresa,
The only reason why i called it our natural state is because….I feel like everything I experienced is something that has been taught to me. What I mean by that is,from birth, we are taught what it is to be fearful,to hate,what pain is suppose to feel like. When I went “manic” I felt the total opposite of those things. Like a previous user mentioned there is a book titled The Four Agreements. This book can elaborate more on what I’m trying to say. I believe i natural state, is love,pure bliss, and joy. When I went manic it was like a switch was turned on and activated those positive feelings. Now that I’m on medicine..I feel normal.
Hey Theresa,
Ah yes… I remember that too. During the mania or psychosis, I felt open and loving and free and it was intoxicating. Afterwards, all my normal fears and doubt and limiting beliefs came charging back, only worse because I’d experienced what it was like to feel free.
The good news is that after years of work – yoga, meditation, healing work and lots of work on observing my mind and working with limiting beliefs etc – I’ve slowly switched into that state of freedom most of the time. Not all the time – sometimes I get caught in fear again and it feels so different. However this natural state of freedom is also different from the psychosis/manic state that I experienced. This is more real & grounded by far.
This was one of the hardest things about my experience – going from total freedom back into total fear and not knowing if I would be able to find my way back again… but you can, and I did. It takes work, but this is the work that we’re being called to do as we wake up. There are lots of articles on this website detailing many aspects of this waking up process. Check out my regular column Musings from the Mat for more.
Have you ever considered the possibility that you may be under spiritual persecution from malevolent spirits capable of great deception?
Hey Nick,
No, I’ve never considered that possibility.
Typical shitty Christian fear porn. It doesn’t help anyone.
Paul
Kara-Leah thank you for sharing your story with such gentle honesty. Mine is startlingly similar. It is quite something looking over this blog, how many people across the globe are having these experiences. I suppose the spread of yoga and meditation has facilitated this. I am now a Kundalini teacher who also works in a bank! I am fascinated by this “trend”, I hope it translates to greater care of the earth and of each other.
Blessings from Africa.
Kate
I would love to speak privately with someone about my recent, unanticipated experiences.
Blessing and love to all. To share my testimony … It all started when I was overwhelmed with the need to forgive and make amends with my dad. The same day I watched the cosmos series and me and my buddy were took over with love knowledge and wisdom. I gave up the denomination and religion I was raised in.. Only to further my quest in spirituality, my hands have been peeling for a year and yesterday my buddy shows me his hands and they’re peeling also WOW. So “something” told me to google hands peeling and spiritual awakening and as I do daily I received another major spiritual confirmation of my feelings and thoughts. To back up a little bit we got real high on Molly and we literally talked for 96 hours and broke down soooo many barriers in each other.. 5th day I had to go the ER because I thought I was going to die or pass out. They told me I had anxiety and while in the room a very elderly man in all white walks by my room and steps back and says are you cold? Someone told me you’re cold,would you like a warm blanket. Big wow because I was shivering my bones off. Everything is so simple yet very complex and I have comfirmation that no thought is original and we can all access the source and move to an higher level of awareness. I’m not special, I have always acknowledged spirituality, belonging, purpose and my HIGHER POWER. All my questions are always answerd, yet sometimes unconventional, always in a form(rather thru another human or nature) I have always felt something guiding me. And I have a strong feeling my purpose is to be a missionary and spread love and truth. I’m ready to submit so any feedback is needed . One love
Thanks Kara-Leigh
After two years of physical horrors followed by the current year of emotional chaos with sensations, visions,auditory wierdness and general confusion i stumbled across references to k awakening
i felt a little safer but was unimpressed as nobody said why it happened, what purpose it served or more importantly what to do about it.
finally i found your articles and whilst I’m still confused i feel better being able to do something to reduce the distress. I was relying on meditation which as you said can be too intense at times. It was!
Anyway can’t thank you enough for sharing
Blessings to you and your family
charlotte
In January of this year, while I was meditating after my regular pranayama and short kriya, I felt something very gently (absolutely no pain anywhere) but steadily move from my lower spine to top of my head. The entire move was like a healthy, sturdy snake movement. When all set and done my spine was erect and I felt the hood of the snake was like helmet, covering top of my head with a firm but comfort grip and I could not feel anything but just calm, comport and complete. No other drama (like, head splitting, blue light coming out…). Up until this past week I was not aware what I had experienced is referred to as “Kundalini energy”. I did discuss this with my husband yesterday and put a word to my doctor today. Both just listened with no advice, suggestion ….. doctor with blank expression.
I would sincerely appreciate if you could enlighten me regarding this experience. Any kind of suggestions, any spiritual advice, reading materials,…etc would be helpful. I did read several materials posted on the internet but I am still lost and very confused.
“When all set and done my spine was erect and I felt the hood of the snake was like helmet, covering top of my head with a firm but comfort grip and I could not feel anything but just calm, comport and complete.”
I love the way you put this!
It is the elapids, the venomous snakes that have the hood. You speak of the hood as protective, like a helmet. It’s an apt description. Usually they hood up to indicate they are feeling threatened – it’s a self protection gesture, when they are hooding up they are displaying that they are willing and capable of defending themselves very effectively.
So the idea of a snake with his hood on your head like a helmet, it’s like you are speaking of an image of a snake actively defending you. I wonder what you are going through that you need conjure an idea of such a powerfully effective protector as an elapid in a defensive posture? A very effective defense, and a good choice of protector. I’m not surprised this image makes you feel very safe and comfortable.
I wonder what species you chose? Some are nervier than others, a brown snake is very nervy and might be likely to bite first ask questions later, a red belly black snake is less nervy, it will hood up, but is very reluctant to bite, and even if it does feel threatened enough to bite will often give a “dry bite” with no venom released in the bite. Perhaps a tiger snake? Not as nervy as a brown snake, but more nervy than a black snake. He will puff himself up to look bigger and scarier.
It is 2 years since you wrote that, I wonder if your fear has subsided and now you don’t need that snake to maintain his defensive posture, to display his hood as your helmet? Perhaps now you have conjured the image of a relaxed snake, coiled serenely? Or a contented snake stretched out in the sun digesting a good meal?
Or maybe like Caduceus two snakes wrapped around each other in a mating posture (whatever that may mean to you – love, union, creation, medicine). Or Ouroborous, biting his tail (they’re immune to their own venom), that’s not a natural behaviour, though I’ve seen a very scared snake bite himself by accident in a defensive frenzy, but he was just scared and confused, it’s not a normal behaviour, so whatever you associate Ouroborous with has truly only the meaning you choose for it. Maybe you see a snake on the move, hunting, getting rid of vermin for you, cleaning up your environment?
I love snakes, there’s a rare species around my place called Hoplocephalus bungaroides, they are endangered because their habitat is being destroyed. I am trying to rehabilitate some habitat for them on my property. Please don’t ever take bush rocks away from snake habitat in Australia, they rely on these rocks for habitat.
People are scared of them, but they are vital part of the ecosystem and if you understand their behaviour patterns and account for and respect them they are easy to coexist with. For some species if you are around a lot they become habituated to you and will accept your presence with no fear, so they will not hood up or bite.
Hello everyone,
I didn’t go through all the comments – too many of them 🙂
But in the article, which is super helpful and interesting, I saw it said that you can eat meat, but I read somewhere else online that you can eat meat because meat has negative/dead energy. Is that correct?
I’m going through a dark night of the soul right now and just trying to see what I’m doing right or wrong. You feedback would help me a lot. Thanks a lot! 🙂
its amazing what you just said about the dead energy of meat – that’s exactly what i think.. When i eat red meat it seems to help the best, at least relieve some of the unpleasant symptoms.
Hey everyone,
I’ve never been one to do yoga or anything like that, nothing against it, but haven’t had the time to try it. Though I’ve been having a weird experience I believe is something like this and want to ask for advice. Sometimes after I wake up in the morning I go to my recliner and lay there, trying to sleep mostly sometimes I noticed when I breathed a certain way I felt a slowly building sensation. Then one time I felt my entire spine start to vibrate radically, After about 20 – 30 seconds of it I started to vividly dream, though I was completely aware I was dreaming. This has happened a few times, most recently after the sensation I am in darkness and feel a dragging sensation. I am curious, is this some sort of kundalini experience? Thank you for your time!
Hye
I belong to Mumbai Indian according to my passport. And really pleased to see such a support and informative comments and reply from all
I and an beginner for kundalini practice. I tried my best to find a really best guru for my rising but was unfortunately unsuccessful but I am very much interested to know my own soul the best and I am very well aware about all the I’ll effects and physical and mental
As I had already mentioned that I resident of Mumbai city its very hard to find a silent place to meditate for long hours
I even tried the best to find and ashrams or untouched forest within India where I can live alone and meditate for the lifelong but its was to sadful to know that everyone just need money even at ashram and all.
Feeling really helpless what to do
Can anyone of you can suggest any place it can be a lonely caves mountain of any place or person (guru) who can help me with my step by step rising I am ready to switch the city with all relationship & home
Can even contact me on mail bhaveshyadav81@yahoo.com
I have had an awakening and am still going thru it.i awoke in the night to a burning something in my back.i felt it stop at my neck snd numb all ovet.legs arms then gone.from then on a complete different person.meditate daily.cant be around negative people.i have more love for all things.quit pain meds.i see patterns and notice numbers.all this is strange and frankly my family thonkd i am half nuts.dont like meat much anymore and have a desire to be in nature with critters more.i have also felt a need to travel went to the rocky mountains alone for a month and loved it.its a lot to take in and hope i can settle down some.bryan
Did you mention LSD? I am suffering from a mood disorder among other things, if you have propensity to mental illness, or to be off your center, forcing the rise of Kundalini can be dangerous. I am not really keen on awakening as I am not well centered, grounded etc. When ready it will happen. This does not mean I am not meditating but I avoid any phenomena seeking!
i also now believe i had a kundalini awakening from recreational drugs. Am going thru the unpleasant side fx of it now while trying to get back to work. 3 1/2 yrs off work and have tried to go back lately. Been having K induced panic attacks at work & days off.. When its unbearable i have to take xanax. I wish i’d never awoken it & i hope it passes. Thx for this page it really helps to know im not on my own. Some good advice. If you get a chance my youtube channel is ‘Jerry Keat’ watch my ‘Kundalini diary 1’ video… thankyou.
So I’ve been going through this the past five months as a result of an Ayahuasca ceremony. The tough part didn’t start until three months ago. While it’s still a challenge, I do feel more stable. I initially wished it away and felt pure terror. Only once I accepted it did things change. It’s still a process but I feel I’m managing it better as I see my reactions to things and how I’ve made myself suffer all of these years through believing the terrible stories and predictions my mind threw at me. Anyway, my question is that is yoga really that helpful during this or can it intensity it? I took a break once the energy kicked up and then I jumper back into a practice. After a week of going regularly, I started another wave of symptons and insomnia. I thought it might be yoga related so now I’m hesitant to return but really miss it and need some physical activity besides walking. Suggestions please?
I wish the best to you all going through this. It is hard for many of us, but it will get better!<3
Hey Melina,
There’s no easy answer to that question. Yes and yes. The right kind of practice in the right kind of way can alleviate symptoms, and the wrong kind of practice in the wrong way can exacerbate them. In general, focus on whatever brings you more into your body and helps you ground. Pay attention to what happens for you during and after practice and respond to that feedback. If you’re looking for physical activity, try dancing or swimming and see how they work for you.