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[…] in my life, this unconscious need drove many of my actions as a teenager and when I was in my 20s. It was the driving force behind my drinking and drug-taking, and the reason I loved going to raves, …. I left behind my sense of separate self, and joined a tribal sense of […]
[…] the past, I’ve owned my drug-taking. My partying. My mental health issues. I’m looking at owning my sexual history. Owning the […]
Awesome article Kara-Leah:-)
Cheers Emma. It was an interesting one to write for sure… lots of reflection… I think I could have written another 10,000 words easily.
Blessings,
KL
Thank you so much for your article Kara-Leah.
I really identified with your experiences. I’ve only been an occasional user of weed in the past couple of years and it always seems to affect me much more than some of my friends who use it all the time. It worries me because it makes me think I must be hiding emotions subconsciously that I’m not sure how to release properly.
I’ve been practicing yoga on and off for most of my life, and have recently been introduced to meditation. I haven’t done both for a while and your article has inspired me to get back into it, so thank you for sharing your story!
All the best,
Annabel
At long last–a yogini speaking the whole truth! A good deal to say & fantastic that you’ve said it–thank you! It’s something I’ve always been very curious about, particularly coming from an intense family history of both drug dereliction & psychological imbalance. I love your zeal for truth untarnished & yet held lightly.
Hey Annabel,
It sounds like you’ve found a way to explore those possibly unconscious emotions through your yoga and meditation practice – happy adventuring!
Hey Melissa,
Thank you! Feedback is always appreciated – helps one stay on track, and stay true.
Blessings,
KL
Hi KL, It’s quite an admission to make – due to societies misunderstanding, but 60% of us 20-somethings will go through the same drug experiences you do! I appreciate you giving this an airing to help people understand.
I’m on the other side of the world from my partner, who came out of her ‘healthy’ phase of 6 years to go back and do drugs socially. She has a difficult life story which needed a lot of repair. I was there for some of that healing and was very emotionally invested – a little too much. I can’t reconcile her need to go back and do it all again (e’s, coke, meth, speed). I worry about the destructiveness of these things. I have found a happy path which is natural and drug free (except for some alcohol). I feel our paths have split.
I know that your post is about you and not about relationships – but it is an interesting angle to explore possibly?
Like most drug journeys it is a selfish journey which not necessarily bad. For me, the risk of hurting people surrounding you if drug taking goes bad, and the suffering caused by the drug trade (google cocaine wars) are things I can’t accept. The ‘want’ of my estranged partner is too great. Because of this I can’t go back because I feel our differences of opinion are too much. She is stubbornly independent about making these choices.
I love her but find it too much. We are 30 and were to be married but I couldn’t face up to this if she was still doing things we were doing at age 19.
I find myself agreeing with most of your thoughts on this post. I keep an open mind and think if society were a lot different then there would be acceptance for careful and guided experimentation. I need to make a decision soon and stick to it! This is not a situation many friends and family could understand, Your post is really refreshing and I would love to hear your thoughts.
Hey MR,
Man, tough situation you find yourself in. To hold on or to let go… It is so different to get swept up in the excitement of altered states when you’re ‘young’… but to consciously go back into it knowing the costs is a whole ‘nother ball game indeed.
And you’re right, drugs and relationship are a big thing… and a different angle to explore again. it’s one that’s tougher to do in a public forum because it requires permission of the other person to fully explore.
Suffice to say, that from my understanding, using drugs indicates there’s shit going on that needs to be dealt with and an inability to see this makes it impossible to stay in a relationship with someone as they’re stuck at that point – for now… If they are using drugs, and can see it’s an issue, and are working on it… then at least there’s a possibility for growth.
It’s a big decision you need to make, and there are many ways to perceive relationship – it’s purpose and unfolding. May you be guided to the understandings you need at this time.
Many blessings,
Kara-Leah
Hi Kara-Leah,
Thanks for your words.
The whole experience of drug taking seems like a HUGELY selfish thing. It’s nearly always done and at whatever cost to people around you, and not many people are aware of its psychological, if not physiological tendency to be more destructive than good. Sure that’s fine when you’re 19 and you don’t know better, but getting older these things seem to come back to haunt those who aren’t strong-willed, which is sad.
…The thing is I could be wrong – I wouldn’t bother you with my message if I thought I believed I had this right! I appreciate your well-wishes. I’ve lost something very important, but maybe dem’s da breaks. Onwards we go with the journey of life. Thanks again and all the best to you.
Hey MR,
I reckon staying true to one’s own path and letting go of the need to control a relationship or our partner has to be one of the hardest things in the world to do… especially when we love them deeply.
But you know what’s right for you. And in the end, your own path and heart is all you need to stay true to. All else will fall the way it’s meant to fall.
Many blessings upon your path,
KL
This is crazy… almost identical to what I went through. All the same drugs, especially e and going from overseas to Canada for first year. I’m only 21 now and for 8 months I’ve been very into yoga and meditation and it’s been exactly how you describe it. This is the first thing I’ve read that says the abuse was okay and things get better, it’s extremely encouraging. I felt the whole time that all those experiences were part of my path and I’ve held on to that belief despite letting my parents down by dropping out.. then moving in with relatives and getting kicked out. I don’t feel regrets for those things because I’ve grown so much, and your article reassures me big-time. I’m still weening of substances and use weed just like you did, but with my change in diet (which was the hardest part) ,habits, friends and country even things are looking better than ever for me and life’s getting good. Thanks Kara <3
Hi! Great article. I related to your writing. I use MDMA about every six months, in small doses. I also practice yoga regularly. I have been thinking a lot about these things, but currently I am ok with my usage. I think that I will naturally transition out of this at some point (probably when I have kids), as I tend to do with vices. Thanks for writing this, its nice to know there are others out there with similar experiences!
A yogi I visited wrote, “Alcohol and drugs may not interfere with yoga, but you may find that yoga interferes with these things.” I keep hearing that in my mind, and I think its spot on! 🙂
Hey Lilibie,
I love that quote! So very true!
This is one of the most insightful pieces I have ever read! I feel like these are things that I have realized before and forgotten.. I’m trying to get into yoga, I already have, but at the minute I’m basically just stretching, doing some postures and focused breathing, but ill be sure to check out the rest of this site, I just stumbled across this by accident. 🙂 This article says to me I can trust the information you give on yoga, as I never bothered to look too far as I assumed most westernized yoga had taken the meaning out of it.. I forgot to finish this message and read your article on the container and the teacher, very good!!