by Kara-Leah Grant, Musings from the Mat
My practice has fallen by the wayside.
Oh, something’s happening every day, be it Yoga Nidra in bed before falling alseep, or a snatched moment of pranayama while my son watches a DVD, or a moment of standing backbends at the bench while doing the dishes.
But rolling out a yoga mat, putting on yoga clothes, and doing a sustained practice? Twice a week. Maybe.
I miss it. I yearn for it. I stop for a moment and tune into my breath and feel the groundswell of life within and want to just surrender to the flow for the next hour, two hours, day or so.
But something pulls me back. My son. My inbox. My website. My work commitments.
Oh, I know I’m the one in charge of my life, and I choose what to do with my time, and there’s always a way to fit in my practice.
I know that.
But right now, I’m not fitting in my practice. Other things seem more important. My son. My work. My sanity. An empty inbox = sanity.
I tussle with this.
Some days I’m a-ok with it, ‘cos it’s just the way things are right now, and besides, I notice my breath all day long yo – that’s yoga right?
Other days I despair. I want more. Crave more. Wonder why I’m not doing more. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make time? Surely I could get up earlier? Other yogis get up at 5:30am. Oh yeah, my son would get up too. I’d need to get up at 4:30am. Surely I could find time at night when he’s gone to bed? Except that’s when I’m usually catching up on work, cooking dinner, cleaning the house. Maybe I could work less? Oh man…
This is just how it is right now.
It will change in time. My son will get older and need less time and energy. My work commitments will shift and change. I will shift and change.
There’s no need to wrap any kind of story around this, any kind of drama. I don’t need to change anything, motivate myself, look for ways to improve.
All I need do is be aware.
Witness my mind.
The thoughts circling.
The ideas arising.
Wait.
.
That’s Yoga.
Kara-Leah, thanks for this. I am having these exact same thoughts. My body begging me to go to a class, but my mind (for sanity) telling me that no, I don’t have time to go, gotta go to work, or study, or whatever else is demanding something right now. Good to know that others also battle with this, and it doesn’t make us a terrible person, or mean that it’s gonna be this way forever
Pip, my pleasure. Tomorrow is always another day.
Similiar sentiments’ oh where has my mat gone. Question df time, being that it is all relative, I must make the time. I really enjoy your classes so thank you. Cx
Yeah, time is always there… it helps me to have a broader definition of yoga, and to stop for ten minutes here and there through out the day.
Loving teaching at Urban Yoga, so appreciate the feedback 🙂
Are teaching for the next 2 Sundays at Urban Yoga??? We’re really a gogol dancer?
Hi Kara-Leah, I have a four year old son and can relate to how you are feeling – the constant juggle of part-time work, family, household duties, and lack of headspace and yoga time! My son is teaching me to stay in the moment and I am learning that small snippets of mat time, breathing, and yoga nidra keep me going throughout the day, even if surrounded with racing car or pirate sounds of my son! My ‘meditation’ is to complete one task before moving to the next, and I keep reminding myself these precious days of a little person at my heels will soon pass.
Hey Kim, so true. Staying fully present with a child is a great practice. And they are only this small for such a short time.
Hey Chris,
Yes, I’m teaching at Urban Yoga August 5th & 12th. And yes, I spent above five years gracing podiums and platforms in nightclubs and at events, shaking my groove thing. A damn fine time indeed!
Go you, hence the free form movement and dancing to music it your classes
Yeah… that’s why Shiva Rea’s yoga teaching appealed so much to me… she’s got an extensive dance background too, which plays out in how she teaches yoga. Music and dance are portholes into the soul!
I could have written this myself. I am a new studio owner and have a 7 week old baby girl.
The balancing act of life… It’s challenging, that’s for damn sure.
Just stumbled on your blog- excited to read more!
Hey Claire,
Oh those first few weeks after childbirth are intense! I lived on yoga nidra while the baby slept… Great to have you as a reader.
Thanks for your monthly posts and I always read your posts but I used practical yuga only one day read daily now a days you forget and not coming is running posts, please do not ignore.
Thanks
Devraj Dhedda