Post-meltdown. On the up.by Kara-Leah Grant, Musings from the Mat
It’s been a bloody hard week. My PledgeMe campaign launched on Saturday and it’s been a rough ride.
21 pledges in 5 days, totaling almost $900.
There’s a Yoga Lunchbox community in the thousands. Not a great conversion rate. A lousy conversion rate. Something was up, and I didn’t know what, but it was sending my mind into a tail-spin all weekend long. And all Monday… all Tuesday… all Wednesday…
Talk about needed my spiritual practice! Non-attachment, keep the faith, do my best in each moment, listen to the responses, and pay attention to the signs, like my dreams.
Wait. Pay attention to dreams?
Yup. Dreams and I are on close terms. They tell me stuff, I listen to them. That kind of thing. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the dream I had the night before the campaign launched, but suffice to say… in the midst of the tailspin and mind-chatter, it was a floating log keeping me a’float.
Today, home from six days in Tauranga where I drove my sister-in-law and brother nuts trying to figure out what I’d done wrong with the campaign… I got a Facebook message from an angel. She didn’t know me, but she cared enough to give me feedback on my campaign video.
I read through her message, and in my heart I knew she was right. The video wasn’t hitting the mark. It wasn’t telling the story of this book and what it means to you, or why it’s going to enrich your life to make this book happen. It’s just a chick in a chair talking about her book dream, with lousy sound quality.
That’s about when I lost it. My victim Self reared up.
Of course it’s just a chick sitting on a chair talking about her dream, with lousy sound quality, because that’s all I can do. I’m a single mum working her arse of with no resources and I’m doing my best to make video with my phone & my laptop!
I slapped her.
The Victim that is, not the Angel who Facebooked.
Actually, I didn’t slap her… I burst into tears in front of my startled son, who inquired:
Mummy all right?
A weekload of tears bursting through the dam.
Yes, Mummy’s alright, just having a minor meltdown.
I ushered my 2.5 yr old son upstairs for a bath, so I could have a shower and cry out my buried emotions without giving him something to work through on the yoga mat twenty years from now.
I cried, and I cried, and I cried some more – as is the case when my life circumstances trigger old wounds inside just begging to be released.
See, this wasn’t about the PledgeMe Campaign. It wasn’t about the Angel who Facebooked. It wasn’t even about the book I am going to publish with the help of y’all.
No, this was about a story I’ve been telling myself about The Way Life Is. And like all stories about The Way Life Is, this story had latched on to the poorly performing PledgeMe campaign as a perfect excuse to trumpet to all who would listen;
See, I told you so, People Just Don’t Care.
That was the meaning I’d attached to the Poorly Performing PledgeMe Campaign. I’d looked at what was happening and used that to reinforce an old belief pattern, which in full goes something like this:
People Just Don’t Care About Me, Because I’m Not Worth It.
Until the Angel who facebooked pointed out that it wasn’t that people don’t care, it’s just that I haven’t done a good job of making them care.
Doh!
Writer tells bad story.
Comes a cropper.
But in the falling, identifies old belief pattern and deals to it once and for all.
So here’s what’s happening. I’m enlisting the help and support of friends (because I have excellent resources and excellent friends) to help me tell a far better story about why The Best of Yoga Lunchbox is important, and why it will enrich your life to help publish it.
I’m going to make a new video. I’m going to write a new pitch. And I’m going to do my damnest to make this Pledge Me Campaign a success because I know that this book matters. I know that this book will changes people’s lives. I know.
I just don’t know how to tell you what this book means to you, yet.
But working on it, working on it.
And in the meantime, I’ve just notched up my first major success on the campaign – dealing to an old belief pattern. Super-stoked to see that one bite the dust.
See, people do care. They care enough to send me a message when they don’t even know me and give feedback honest enough to risk offending someone. That’s caring.
Must mean I’m worth it 😉
If you hurry, you can see the video that’s missing the mark here. If you haven’t hurried, the new video will be up and humming along. Hopefully you’ll know straight away which video you’re watching… Version 1, or Version 2.
Kara-Leah
You are a gem.
here’s some love from the Kootenays…..
for you and all you are sharing.
mike
Hey Mike,
Awesome – I’ll most definitely take some love from the Kootenays! Thank you!
KL
Hey KL, I watched your vid, I pledged, and I also posted the link on my fb page….and, felt really proud when it was liked and shared by two of my friends….it felt worthwhile to share, and as if I was doing something good by contributing to something that I know is going to be awesome…so, don’t knock that vid too hard…I thought it was kinda sweet, its “flaws” are what got through to me!
Hey Gisele,
It was heart-warming to see your pledge and support come through so early. I think you, and other friends & family who’ve already pledged, have the bonus of knowing me better, and hence the potential of he book. Love too that the “flaws” are what got through to you… there is magic in that eh?
Hi!
Thanks for writing this post. I’m a not yet pledger, but, you know, I didn’t want to interfere or anything, because I trust you to have thought this through.
I thought about pledging, because I know the incredible work you do here and the quality of writing from both you and your fellow columnists. What kept me from it was how high the sum was for getting the e-book. But I realized that I really have no idea what NZ$ are in €. It’s a much more reasonable price to pay for an ebook once I make the conversion. Maybe there are ways you can make the digital options more appealing to your international audience?
Much love and success to you, KL
P.
Hey Paula,
Thanks for the feedback. It’s great to hear how different people are experiencing the campaign. I can’t make any changes to rewards that are already on offer. I can however introduce new rewards. So I’m pondering whether or not to introduce an option to receive just one e-book, instead of the 2 that you already get for $29NZ. And yes, I realise that international visitors do have to do a quick convert in their head before committing… not sure how to get around that though! NZ dollar isn’t worth much… so when you convert… it’s so cheap!
KL
Hey,
Just a small note somewhere that this is NZ dollars would be sufficient.
I thought the 29$ was for one ebook. But since it’s not it would be great to add that option 🙂
Good luck.
Hey Paula,
I’ll pass your feedback along to PledgeMe. I think a small NZ$ would be useful too…
Thanks,
KL
Haven’t watched the video yet but I am very keen on the concept of a Yoga Lunchbox book!
You are a great writer/communicator Kara-Leah, and I always find your articles uplifting, and they frequently lead to contemplation/reflection.
Thank you x
Thanks Fran! One way or another… a book will come!
KLx
Kara-Leah , I am sure it will work out for you!
You have started the journey, i suppose from your honest words you have written it can be frustrating that the journey also comes with pot holes and barriers that can slow down that journey for you.
Your prologue will be great – “journey to get to the completed book”, this will be a great read before readers even get in to the great articles that have already been written, that’s how i see it for you.
Keep up the great writing! From an appreciative reader
Take care,
Namaste,
Richard
Richard,
You are so right, it’s working out perfectly. Everything is about process, and what it reveals about me in the unfolding. There can be frustration – but only if I’m attached to a specific result. Such is the nature of the learning – how to have a goal and hold lightly to it, allowing space for grace to do it’s work.
Blessings,
KL
Keep it going …I really enjoy reading everything you write ….I too am uncovering the hidden agendas or what ever they are that has been running me…..have you ever read Fear No Evil by Eva Pierrakos…one of those life changing books….sending love from Oregon…..I take everything to my mat ……ahhhhhhhh
Hey Helen,
No, I haven’t read it, will check it out. Thanks for the tip!
KL
KL I had to laugh 🙂 I know how your exactly how your feeling. The universe is teaching us lessons.
I agree ” Everything is about process, and what it reveals about me in the unfolding. There can be frustration – but only if I’m attached to a specific result. Such is the nature of the learning – how to have a goal and hold lightly to ”
How to have a goal and be unattached to the outcome, is how I am approaching what I am doing.
Not easy for our human selves.
I listened to this last night from the author of a book
A Heart Blown Open: The Life & Practice of Zen Master Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi ( gripping read if you want to get a very deeply spiritual book from a really different perspective)
Here is the podcast http://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2012/09/tnm-122-keith-martin-smith-rejection-and-how-to-stop-holding-back/ It was about rejection and holding back . The guy got rejected 300 times before he got his first book published.
Your videos are real. Bugger the sound quality its the content in them. Its a funny world when people pick on the irrelevant. Your doing AWESOME
Hey Al,
Love the sound of that book & will check it out. Been listening to a lot of podcasts lately too… they rock!
Thanks for the tips! Much appreciated.