by Kara-Leah Grant
Last September Cameron Shayne wrote an article called Hot Sex for Real Yogis: Having Sex with Your Yoga Teacher.
He was up-front and honest about his own experiences as a yoga teacher, describing how he’d, as a consenting adult, had had sex with other consenting adults who’d also been students in his classes.
“As a single male yoga teacher, I have had on more than one occasion engaged in deep and meaningful intimate relationships with a woman I have met either in my class, workshops or in the yoga community. These relationships for many people would be perceived as a teacher/student relationship.”
I read the article, and many of the 200-odd comments it generated, some of whom didn’t like what Cameron was saying or how he was saying it.
“Why would anyone take a class from this turd? Hopefully this serves as a warning to students to steer clear of this clown. But then there is always a new victim waiting in the wings for predators like this. Wish the yoga community would get it’s shit together and boycott teachers like this.”
Several bloggers responded with articles of their own including Matthew Remski with Cameron Shayne is So Totally his Body. And Bodies are Political, Carol Horton with Yoga, Sex and the Teacher-Student Relationship and Chris Courtney with Yoga Teacher or Predator?
After wading through the debate on all sides and ploughing through as many comments as I could stomach I felt over-whelmed. I didn’t know what was even being said anymore, by anyone. Except there was a lot of meanness, and not always much understanding.
Even Matthew Remski and Chris Courtney ended up going head -to-head in the comment section of Matthew’s article. So many words! So much argument! So much rhetoric!
What was it all about?
Cameron touched a huge wound when he suggested that – and I’m paraphrasing through my own filters and perception here – when it comes down to two consenting adults having sex, one of whom is a yoga teacher and one a yoga student, we don’t need any rules.
That those two consenting adults can navigate the inherent power imbalances and difficulties of their relationship themselves, and with any support they choose to take on board.
“The teacher is as responsible for understanding the dynamic of the potential relationships as the student is. This is not about removing accountability but about the right to choose.” ~ Cameron Shayne
Yes, people may get hurt, says Cameron, but that’s where our learning comes from. We don’t have to wield policies and rules to protect ourselves.
It’s a bold statement.
And at the crux, I don’t think Cameron’s statement has anything to do with whether or not yoga teachers and students have sex or date. Because we all know they do. Relationships start in yoga rooms and yoga studios and sometimes they end badly, sometimes they end well and sometimes they endure.
At the crux, Cameron is challenging the notion that yoga teachers are more powerful than yoga students, instead of simply students of yoga with their own shit going on who may be further along the path.
He’s saying Kill the Guru, claim your own power, lets meet as equals and share information.
At least – that’s what I take from what he’s saying.
Some of the criticism hurled at Cameron – and yes I say hurled because much of it was vehement – was over his perceived mockery of yoga tradition.
For example, one of the yamas in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras urges restraint, often translated as sexual restraint.
There is much wisdom that has been distilled down over thousands of years in the name of yoga, including the Yoga Sutras.
Yet there are also the many Tantras, including the Left-Handed Path which takes a radically different approach to that of Patanjali. But I don’t want to get into the many threads of yoga, and what the differences are between each teaching.
What I do want to say is that beyond this ancient teaching or that ancient teaching, I hesitate to lay any of my power at the foot of tradition.
I don’t hold with tradition as something to revere for it’s own sake. Tradition is to be questioned just as much I question my own thoughts and beliefs. I’m not dismissing it’s importance or relevance or wisdom, merely suggesting that it’s not to be believed in simply because it’s old and purportedly wise.
Patanjali was no more a human being than I am. We have the same facilities available to us. Yes, he’s shown me a way, but I have to ultimately find my own way. That’s the only way to liberation – it’s an intensely personal thing.
Liberation comes not from believing in something handed down by another but by realising the Self.
Ironically enough, first the self has to be known, and then embraced before one is liberated from it. And in the final irony, even after liberation from the self, a self as such still remains – has to remain – as the interface with which one interacts with others.
And that Self will have personality traits. It will have preferences. Likes and dislikes. If I ever achieve realisation, I will still love to dance to loud dance music at any given opportunity. That is not going to change, just because I’m liberated.
I feel it at times – liberation. It’s a strong flowing current of life as is in this moment pouring through me and in this moment I feel liberated and free beyond all. Then it’s gone. Eaten up by my next thought or idea or clinging or attachment.
In those moments of liberation I feel more myself than ever before and also not any Self at all.
Yet the fact is, most of us are not liberated – not yet. Does that mean we need rules and regulations in place to protect yoga teachers and students from themselves?
Oh I struggle with this one…
I’ve sat still, breathing for a minute or two waiting for a response to that question.
I’m scared to write the answer. That’s why.
Here’s what comes up for me.
No, we don’t need rules.
We don’t need protecting from ourselves.
What we need is to stop giving our power away to the other, to authority, to the teacher. What we need is to learn to stand in our power ourselves.
And doing that means we need honesty. We need authenticity. And we need awareness.
That’s what we need.
And that, like him or love him, hate him or think he’s tearing down tradition, is exactly what Cameron Shayne is giving us.
He’s giving us honesty. He’s giving us authenticity in his own beautiful f*cked up way. And maybe, just maybe, he’s making us more aware because he’s pricking the wounds many of us carry around authority, tradition, sexuality, power, rules and regulation.
Is he dangerous? Yeah, maybe he is. Maybe he is.
And that too may be just what we need.
Only by the continuance of the conflict can understanding come. This is what most people do not see. As soon as the conflict comes, and the sorrow born of conflict, they at once seek comfort. Comfort, in its turn, breeds fear. Fear leads to imitation and the sheltering behind established tradition. From this come rigid systems of morality, laying down what is spiritual and what is not spiritual, what is the religious life and what is not the religious life. It is the fear of life which produces guides, teachers, gurus, churches, religions. Please, I know.
None of these things are going to satisfy a mind which is really enquiring, which is really in revolt. As soon as you fear, you have the desire to conform, to listen to everybody, to become a machine, a type. And all this is but contraction, and contraction is slow death…
…Now this highest reality is something which I assert that I have attained. For me, it is not a theological concept. It is my own life-experience, definite, real, concrete. I can, therefore, speak of what is necessary for its achievement… ~ J. Krishnamurti, the revolutionary philosopher who refused to be bound by any path, any teaching, and any tradition.
Interesting article. I have been thinking a lot lately about this issue and about how judgemental yogis can be and yet I was attracted to yoga because it was about individual dharma. On my windy yogic road (which has encampassed equal parts hatha to meditation) I have encountered swarmis who think vigorous hatha styles are just gymnastics. I have encountered ashtanga practitioners who go beyond what their body needs, turning the body to the needs of the ego in a desperate attempt to grasp their next pose. I have encountered flexi ladies who choreograph impressive vinyasa routines while spouting wee wisdoms to the wind that supposedly speak to everyone. Now I sound judgemental. But in each of these scenarios judgementalism is supreme. Of course each path that an individual chooses must suit him or her and therefore be the best road for that person. But I do think it’s important to see that it is just the ‘best path for that individual at that time and not for all individuals at all time. It’s tricky of course. How can we teach others when rules are so individual and fluid? No one said it was easy this yoga path… Great humility overcomes many of the obstacles. If a teacher has a relationship with a student so what? Students have relationships. Teachers have problems we know that or do we wish to pretend it is otherwise in the desperate desire to find a magic wand? If a teacher consistently picks up students in class then well i think that says they are probably not focussed and yes to me that’s a problem. Big difference. Not black and white.
Hey Sarah,
Yes – I often encounter the idea that “this is not yoga”, or “only I practice the true yoga”. How do we teach when the path is individual? By recognising that we’re not teaching a particular path but encouraging the student’s awareness so they can see their own path. Often, teaching postures is a way to teach awareness – or rather, encourage the cultivation of awareness.
And yeah – it ain’t easy, this path. Especially in staying un-attached to the idea of a path per se, because even that is a mental construct, and is only helpful for as long as it is helpful.
Great reply! I totally agree it’s all about individual awareness and that ain’t easily attained or gifted! I have recently returned to NZ after years of being away and it’s great to discover your blog and find out about yoga here. Thanks! Appreciated. Will subscribe when I get financial!
J. Krishnamurti certainly throws open the windows and lets in the fresh air.
“It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.
Doesn’t he just? I’ve always loved that quote of his.
A sexual undercurrent is a very fast way of clearing an ordinary middle NZ yoga classroom, the whole room feels it. So within the context of a class or teaching it is very bad business. If you photoshopped out the hot male 40 something from your video interview and replaced him with say Bikram? or someone fat and ugly but still male? A well known lesbian perhaps? How would you feel free of desire?
To me the number one purpose of a yoga teacher is to provide a completely safe place where deep relaxation and vulnerability is possible without reservation or fear. Have you ever noticed how shavasana can have a different quality when the teacher is out of the room. The sense of spaciousness and safety is then your own responsibility. In fact that is the essence of a lasting home yoga practice and the purpose of the yoga teacher is to give that to their students.
Some ethical standards are required. J Brown is dead right.
However in the context of relationship between 2 healthy independently practicing adults, outside of the classroom. Maybe its just the same as a relationship born between equals in an accountants office, frowned on, high risk, potentially damaging but probably unavoidable. Such is life.
I am shure Mr Shayne has a long que of bendy people wanting desperately to accessorise their lives with his prescence, and paying for the possibility. Are they learning any yoga in the process?No doubt you have done well out of the publicity too. Business is business.
btw J Krishnamurti conducted a very damaging affair with the wife of his business partner and one of her children felt stronly enough to write a book about it. Maybe its ok for men with a god complex to sleep with whomever they like, after all its their right.
Hey A,
There’s a leap in logic in your first sentence. Cameron is not suggesting a class is saturated in sexuality, but that over time, relationships between teachers and students do develop and as adults, those teachers & students are accountable to the decisions they make about their relating.
I’ve also been in one of Cameron’s classes here in New Zealand, and observed him teaching in a second. The first class was called “Bring Sexy Back”… and focused on freeing the spine and the pelvis through undulating movements that integrated the movement right from tailbone to crown of head. Was there a strong sexual undercurrent? Hell no – sex was right up front and on topic. Did the class clear as soon as it became clear what Cameron was teaching – and he told us in the first sentence. No, it didn’t. Was Cameron hitting on students in the class? Not at all – he was teaching.
I’m not sure what you asking about being free of desire, so can’t answer that.
Again, there’s an assumption made that if teachers and students are held accountable to their actions that therefore a safe classroom situation is not provided. These two things are not mutually exclusive. The classroom can be a safe space for people to open up and be vulnerable. And a teacher and student might develop a relationship even though the classroom is where they first met each other.
I read disdain in your comment – maybe it’s just my filters and perception – but it makes me curious. Why such distain for Cameron, or for talking about this topic on a yoga website? Why not openness and curiosity? Distain feels like a defence, a way of drawing a line between this & that – the opposite of openness and love.
I can’t comment on Krishnamurti’s affairs because i don’t know anything about them. Other people’s behaviour makes me curious – I want to understand, and I don’t presume to know anything, let alone judge it good or bad, right or wrong.
Your final sentence… who has a God complex? Krishnamurti? Cameron? Does your sentence drip with sarcasm, cousin to distain? Is that helpful for open dialogue between friends – because I’d like to think we’re all friends, curious about exploring these matters in a compassion and open way.
http://heartofyoga.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/when-things-seem-to-fall-apart/
Thank you Mark.
Awesome link – thank you!
There are many paths. The Indian tradition accepted this. There is no rigidity in rules. Something for those of us brought up in a Christian or even Muslim society is a new concept. In India personal individual paths are valid.For instance Hinduism is a personal religion in the sense that there is no organisation governing it, no equivalent of the Pope no official means of entry like baptism. One cannot be excommunicated. Ditto with yoga. It is a very different mind set and one which is fundamentally experiential and therefore personal. All spiritual paths are valid. You may question someone’s path but it is their choice and their karma. Perhaps that should be kama in Cameron’s world.
Hey Catherine,
Thank you for providing more context for the article – it gives me more to consider.
“All spiritual paths are valid”? Where truth is concerned perhaps no paths are valid. It’s a little ironic that Krishnamurti is quoted in an article titled “If Yoga is a Path to Liberation,…” Krishnamurti famously said “Truth is a pathless land”, and was as dismissive of yoga as he was of every other belief system.
Hey Peter,
Ah – great point. In the end, there is no path, as everything is left behind. Adhyshanti talks about waking up from Zen, and moving beyond that. A path is only useful until it’s not. Yet, while it’s useful – as yoga is for many of us – it is valid.
Yes, and Krishnamurti apparently found validity in yoga – though he emphatically said he only practised for exercise. He was taught for several years by highly respected yoga teachers.
Yoga practitioners are often scorned for picking and choosing from various schools of yoga, but perhaps this is the only authentic way to practise, to discern for oneself.
As Krishnamurti said ” To discover whether there is a reality or not, we must be capable of seeing the true as the true, the false as the false, and not wait to be told like a lot of immature children”.
The problem you have is that truth is a dead thing, its in the past. Can the truth be known in the present, no, as soon as you perceive truth you are thinking and thought is in the past, its dead. To attempt to perceive truth is to deny the truth that is already present in you unperceived. Truth is a religious idea like god, or creator and creation, truth is separation from life force. Truth is just another big fat story.
Hey A,
Is there a problem? I didn’t know there was a problem.
Hmm… truth… you’ve given me something to ponder. Does it cease to exist once it’s perceived? Is it possible to perceive without thinking? Can we have… Just Perception (No Thought). Yes… I feel we can. Where does that leave us? Can we perceive truth without thinking about it or naming it so it doesn’t become a story and just is?
Dear Kara-Leah Grant and Cameron Shayne,
Thank you for your honesty about your feeling and thoughts re: your role as a Yoga teacher. In your remarks, you note that you are acting out of the motivation to be completely honest and authentic about who you are and how you wish to teach your class. If that is true, then I have some suggestions for how you should communicate that to your students and other Yoga traditions. If you do not make these points clear, than you could certainly be considered less than honest and a hypocrite, hiding behind the understanding and expectation that many new students may have re: your Yoga class environment, any assumption of a lineage or classic training in your background, or even the trust that they could count on for the atmosphere of relaxation within the class. Simply stand up and be honest.
If you wish to have your class an open sexual situation, then be honest about it. Just as a teacher is responsible for the setting and the training to be able to teach Yoga, you should be clear about what you offer and what students may encounter. Make sure you clearly present that the conditions that are different than Patanjali’s traditional Yogic path, which many of us realize as the summary of over 5,000 years of experience, to maximize the actual benefit of Yoga. Here are some suggestion that you should advertize and have on your literature and signage:
1) We choose to not comply with the yamas and niyamas of the classic Raja Yoga Path or the ancient discipline of any Yoga Masters, traditional lineages, or rules of behavior. We do not consider this necessary for our Yoga style. In fact, we consider those suggested restraints as obstacles to what we consider to be “liberation”
2) We are open to sexual encounters in our class
3) As the teacher, I may choose to express myself in touching and, if I choose, I may become intimate with any student that consents to this intimacy
4) We don’t follow traditions, gurus, teachers, or any specific Yoga teachings
5) We do what feels right and good to us, rather than follow any specific rules
6) We do not protect students from teachers, nor protect teachers from students (your own words here)
7) We assume full responsibility, both personally and legally, for any and all harm or disturbance that this approach might engender in any class
Additionally, you may want to post the quote from Krishnamurti that you reference in your posting. That way, potential students looking for a Hatha Yoga class could more clearly see and understand what philosophy that you are committed to in your teaching.
If you do not make this clear, you then are admitting that you are simply a fraud, using Yoga to provide you a personal sexual opportunity, rather than follow a traditional Yoga path that would provide explicit protection from the environment that you wish to setup.
Be honest, be clear, and be of service.
With all respect,
Jeevakan Joseph Abbate
(Integral Yoga Hatha teacher since 1970, teaching in San Francisco, Berkeley, Los Angeles, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara, District of Columbia, Soledad Prison, Tracey Prison, and now at Yogaville-Satchidananda Ashram Virginia)
Hey Jeeva,
Thank you for your in-depth and considered comment. Much to consider here!
First, you make some assumptions.
“If you wish to have your class an open sexual situation…”
This is not the case. Nor is this:
“2) We are open to sexual encounters in our class”
Yoga class is for yoga. Outside of class, a situation may arise where there is an attraction between a teacher and a student, and with discernment and boundaries, that teacher & student as consenting adults are presumed to have the facilities to negotiate the boundaries of their relating – whether they choose to explore it or not.
This is the biggest assumption I see people leaping to as a result of this discussion – that yoga class becomes a sexualised environment. It doesn’t. It’s yoga, it’s class, it stays the same. Nothing changes. All that’s being discussed is whether there needs to be a blanket policy that teachers should never date students (even though we all know they do), instead, do we need to accept that situations will arise and teachers and students are smart enough to navigate these waters themselves.
As I pointed out in the article, there are many texts and lineages other than that of Patanjali, for example the yoga of Kashmiri Shaivism as explored in the Tantras Vijnanabhairava or Spandakarika. The way to yoga outlined in these is different to the way to yoga outlined in the Yoga Sutras.
Patanjali may have been the summary of 5000 years of experience, yet it was written 2000 years ago. Is it possible that we’ve evolved and grown since then? I don’t know.
Nor am I suggesting this, as you’ve written in your comment – again, this is an assumption.
“1) We choose to not comply with the yamas and niyamas of the classic Raja Yoga Path or the ancient discipline of any Yoga Masters, traditional lineages, or rules of behavior. We do not consider this necessary for our Yoga style. In fact, we consider those suggested restraints as obstacles to what we consider to be “liberation””
What I am suggesting is always questioning and applying discernment. That can mean taking on the teaching and learning how to embody it within one’s life and then choosing whether or not it is relevant, or what it means. You can read more about my exploration of the Yamas and the Niyamas here.
Don’t believe it just because it’s old and traditional – explore it, ingest it, roll in it, play with it, climb inside it and understand it… then maybe choose to take it on or not.
As for how I preface the classes I teach – I do emphasise that you are your own ultimate authority, that the Guru lives inside of you, that you have to find your own way. I encourage my students to take full responsibility for their bodies and their practice, while guiding them to stay safe through the practice. And yes, I refer to other teachers, traditions, lineages and gurus – not because I follow them (or don’t follow them) but because they are part of the terrain and as a teacher I’m a guide, pointing out the landmarks.
Finally, this:
“using Yoga to provide you a personal sexual opportunity”.
What?? I don’t get why a discussion about personal accountability and the discernment of adults takes us to this point. Why the leap in argument? I’m talking about one thing, you’re talking about something else entirely. How do we get there? That’s what makes me curious.
Why do you assume that when I say A it means Z – and then react from Z, even though I’m talking about A?
What environment do I wish to set up? An environment where no one gives their power away to everyone and where everyone realises their own agency. An environment where the teacher is seen as just another student, albeit with a broader view of the landscape. An environment of curiosity, openness and discernment, where ideas and concepts can be discussed and explored without people being shut down, shamed, bullied or ridiculed. That’s the kind of environment I’d like to set up… And one too where we realise and treat each other as all friends – you, me and the other – treating each other with the kindness and compassion we would treat any friend we were sitting around the kitchen table with sharing a conversation.
I’m pausing now, taking a breath, re-reading your comment, and asking myself if I’ve spoken to you as I would a friend. I’m imaging you, on the other side of the world, and trying to get a feeling for who you are and where you come from.
I love the idea of posting the quote from Krishnamurti – brilliant idea. And I love the way you sign off – Be honest, be clear and be of service.
So thank you, for sharing your insights and giving me the opportunity to further reflect on this matter.
Many blessings from NZ
KL
Hi Kara-Leah,
I have no problem with your breaking from traditions or from the established Masters and/or teachers of Yoga. If you choose not to offer a practice in any particular lineage, then make that clear. It is appropriate etiquette in Yoga instruction to inform your students as to how you gained your skill or attainment, so you may be happy to just list your instructors (who also must have studied from someone or somewhere to learn their practice).
You mention that “there are many texts and lineages other than that of Patanjali, for example the yoga of Kashmiri Shaivism as explored in the Tantras Vijnanabhairava or Spandakarika.” Of course this is quite true. How were those arcane practices taught? As far as the texts note, always by direct instruction from a Master teacher. There will come a time in all study of Yoga, that little progress can be made in establishing your awareness in the deeper Self, without some training in restraint of the ego, or little self. I have experienced this personally and had to come to this point completely on my own, having done everything I needed to do and tasted everything that I needed to taste. There was a reason that Yoga was a secret teaching for so many years and that the inner teaching still remains secret, no matter how many books or texts we may read. Certainly your focus and discipline will evolve completely on its own, as we all discover what mastery we must attain to progress to reside more permanently in the state of Yoga, in peace and true joy.
In any case, I can see that you are striving to be a caring, honest, and professional Yoga instructor. You are actively intent on bringing health, peace, and balance to your students. If you wish to “have your cake and eat it too”, go for it. As I have discovered, you continue to experience what works for you and the for students, and what does not work. At some point, an established lineage teaching may clearly emerge to have value for you…until then, enjoy your teaching, continue your refreshing honesty, and let the Yogic experience guide you. As you have mentioned the real Guru is within us, activated from a living Guru or living teaching.
May your Yoga service continue to bring peace and joy to you and your students. Come and visit us here at Yogaville whenever it is convenient and I will be happy to host you and be your personal tour guide. We are open to all students and teachers of all paths, as well as Yoga teachers of all stripes and colors.
Om Shanthi,
Jeevakan
Thank you – I appreciate your words and invitation.
1. I did not learn my yogic practice from Patanjali, anymore than I learned my christianity from Jesus, or my Buddhism from Buddha. I was introduced to my yoga practice like you by practicing. Any words I gleaned from a book are worth as much.
2. Pantankali codified the yogic scripture, traditions, rituals and technology reflective of his time. It is safe to say his interpretation was specific to his understanding of yoga, his age, his environment, and his own belief system at that time, which is forever changing. Therefore his interpretation is one static snapshot of the ever changing landscape that we call yoga. It is not a finished product, it is a process. So no person can define yoga or humanity. That is your limited story of yoga.
3. I find your orthodox and dogmatic views contrasting my personal yoga practice, which, I repeat does not have to be in alignment with yours, Patnajlis or any other persons to be yogic.
4. There is no suggestion by myself or Kara-Leah that yoga class should be sexually charged. The conversation is suggesting that if people meet in class, and happen to fall in love, become attracted to each other, that is just fine. Sexuality is a natural occurring quality of being human, in all conditions. The need to communicate that on your class flyer is as illogical as needing to advertise to people that no such behavior will be tolerated in a yoga class. Both stem from the fear that people are not capable of managing them selves, their emotions, and urges.
5. You suggest you know why people go to yoga class. I offer you only know what you know, and nothing more. Your interpretation of other peoples expectations of a yoga class is more story telling, resting on the feet of assumption and projection of your own reasoning. No one goes to yoga class for the same reason or with the same expectation.
6. I personally don’t care what advice you give or take. Your process is yours alone. You clearly believe you are right enough to offer me instructions in regard to how I should behave around the absolute personal experience of yoga which I kindly and respectfully reply, no thank you. 🙂 CS
Perhaps the differences here reflect the problem of guiding a spiritual path in a student you are intimately involved with. If the desire is to solemnly assist in helping someone evolve spiritually, to become more self-aware, I think it would be hard to do so with the distraction of ‘attraction’. Sexual intimate life and spiritual life cross over but these two worlds definitely need their boundaries. Some years back I read a book by a Jungian psychologist who suggested that it is very easy to project our spiritual self onto another person through a romantic infatuation. This made a lot of sense to me. We come to expect God-like things of our mortal piers rather than projecting our spirituality in the appropriate direction and letting mortals be mortals. This is not to suggest that you couldn’t become attracted and attached to a student you met in the context of a yoga class. Goodness! One must meet a companion somewhere! And as we know many ‘traditional’ yoga teachers have chosen coupling and marriage rather than celibacy. But after a teacher and student ‘meet’ perhaps it may be better for the student to find another teacher to guide their spiritual life? That way you continue to grow together as ’empowered’ equals, picking your own mentors/gurus/teachers as appropriate?
Hey Sarah,
There’s no suggestion that you continue to be both someone’s yoga teacher & their lover… although in some situations that might be fine also. If you’re teaching a large public class of 120 people, having your current partner in the class isn’t really a big deal. I’ve attended classes with Shiva Rea that her partner was also practicing in.
However, there is a big difference between that and guiding a spiritual path. I’d say there are very few teachers who do this at all – I’ve studied with many teachers in New Zealand, many of whom are excellent teachers, but none I would call a spiritual guide.
Conversely, I’d also say that my intimate partners have been the people I’ve learned most from along the way – although they weren’t actively teaching me. It’s just that there is no better place than relationship to see & work with your shadow… IN this way, our inimate life and spiritual life are completely intertwined – there is no separation at all. However, you are each the teachers of the other, and each the student as well.
It’s very hard to find a good teacher. It’s hard enough to find a good asana teacher let alone someone to guide you on a spiritual yoga path. Even in India it is hard to find.
‘When the chela (pupil) is ready the guru will appear. And the chela will always get the guru they deserve.’
I’ve heard this so many times… and at times, it sounds glib. I went ten years or so without a dedicated teacher before finally finding someone I knew I could learn from. Does that mean I spent ten years ‘not being ready’? I don’t know…
Yes it is rather glib.
Surely if we’re being attentive and non-judgemental we can learn from any relationship, with anyone and at any time. In which case a guru is anyone who brings us from darkness to light, not necessarily a learned teacher. So our state of readiness determines what we can fruitfully give or take in any particular relationship, at any particular time.
I like that Peter, well said
Yes Peter, that’s what my yoga teacher tells me. He also says that it is increasingly hard to find a teacher. Even here in India. Indeed, his teacher prefers to remain anonymous, although I am aware of his (and therefore my) lineage of masters.
Hey Catherine,
I would agree with you – there are hundreds of people teaching yogas, and very few yoga teachers out there. Not that there’s anything wrong with those people teaching yoga – I’m one of them! And I often learn much from those teachers… but I wouldn’t say they’re a teacher. In fact, I don’t know if I have ever come across someone I could consider that… despite meeting many teachers and swamis over the years. Perhaps I just have unrealistic expectations…
Hey Kara-Leah, today’s ‘JK Online Daily Quote’ happens to be germane to the conversation:
If you are intelligent, if you have the capacity, if you have energy, then it is comparatively simple to study the problem. The perfect studying of the problem is the answer itself; the answer is not away from the problem. But to study, to find out the truth of the problem, you need energy, you need vitality, and that vitality and that energy is destroyed when you are following somebody, when you are following your guru, when you are following your political leader or an economic system. All your creative energy is gone in following something, in disciplining your mind to a particular pattern of action. When the leader fails, when the leader dies, when something happens, you are left alone. – Krishnamurti, Talks in India 1953
Love it!