It’s been a bloody hard week. My PledgeMe campaign launched on Saturday and it’s been a rough ride.
21 pledges in 5 days, totaling almost $900.
There’s a Yoga Lunchbox community in the thousands. Not a great conversion rate. A lousy conversion rate. Something was up, and I didn’t know what, but it was sending my mind into a tail-spin all weekend long. And all Monday… all Tuesday… all Wednesday…
Talk about needed my spiritual practice! Non-attachment, keep the faith, do my best in each moment, listen to the responses, and pay attention to the signs, like my dreams.
Wait. Pay attention to dreams?
Yup. Dreams and I are on close terms. They tell me stuff, I listen to them. That kind of thing. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the dream I had the night before the campaign launched, but suffice to say… in the midst of the tailspin and mind-chatter, it was a floating log keeping me a’float.
Today, home from six days in Tauranga where I drove my sister-in-law and brother nuts trying to figure out what I’d done wrong with the campaign… I got a Facebook message from an angel. She didn’t know me, but she cared enough to give me feedback on my campaign video.
I read through her message, and in my heart I knew she was right. The video wasn’t hitting the mark. It wasn’t telling the story of this book and what it means to you, or why it’s going to enrich your life to make this book happen. It’s just a chick in a chair talking about her book dream, with lousy sound quality.
That’s about when I lost it. My victim Self reared up.
Of course it’s just a chick sitting on a chair talking about her dream, with lousy sound quality, because that’s all I can do. I’m a single mum working her arse of with no resources and I’m doing my best to make video with my phone & my laptop!
I slapped her.
The Victim that is, not the Angel who Facebooked.
Actually, I didn’t slap her… I burst into tears in front of my startled son, who inquired:
Mummy all right?
A weekload of tears bursting through the dam.
Yes, Mummy’s alright, just having a minor meltdown.
I ushered my 2.5 yr old son upstairs for a bath, so I could have a shower and cry out my buried emotions without giving him something to work through on the yoga mat twenty years from now.
I cried, and I cried, and I cried some more – as is the case when my life circumstances trigger old wounds inside just begging to be released.
See, this wasn’t about the PledgeMe Campaign. It wasn’t about the Angel who Facebooked. It wasn’t even about the book I am going to publish with the help of y’all.
No, this was about a story I’ve been telling myself about The Way Life Is. And like all stories about The Way Life Is, this story had latched on to the poorly performing PledgeMe campaign as a perfect excuse to trumpet to all who would listen;
See, I told you so, People Just Don’t Care.
That was the meaning I’d attached to the Poorly Performing PledgeMe Campaign. I’d looked at what was happening and used that to reinforce an old belief pattern, which in full goes something like this:
People Just Don’t Care About Me, Because I’m Not Worth It.
Until the Angel who facebooked pointed out that it wasn’t that people don’t care, it’s just that I haven’t done a good job of making them care.
Writer tells bad story.
Comes a cropper.
But in the falling, identifies old belief pattern and deals to it once and for all.
So here’s what’s happening. I’m enlisting the help and support of friends (because I have excellent resources and excellent friends) to help me tell a far better story about why The Best of Yoga Lunchbox is important, and why it will enrich your life to help publish it.
I’m going to make a new video. I’m going to write a new pitch. And I’m going to do my damnest to make this Pledge Me Campaign a success because I know that this book matters. I know that this book will changes people’s lives. I know.
I just don’t know how to tell you what this book means to you, yet.
But working on it, working on it.
And in the meantime, I’ve just notched up my first major success on the campaign – dealing to an old belief pattern. Super-stoked to see that one bite the dust.
See, people do care. They care enough to send me a message when they don’t even know me and give feedback honest enough to risk offending someone. That’s caring.
Must mean I’m worth it
If you hurry, you can see the video that’s missing the mark here. If you haven’t hurried, the new video will be up and humming along. Hopefully you’ll know straight away which video you’re watching… Version 1, or Version 2.