A List of Yoga Scandals Involving Gurus, Teachers, Students, Sex and Other Inappropriate Behaviour

Bikram, teaching.

Bikram, teaching.

By Kara-Leah Grant & Lucinda Staniland

The last few years have been awash with yoga scandals as well-known yoga teachers and gurus have fallen from grace.

I’m not going to add any commentary to this article, it’s simple a list of scandals that have happened over the years.  If you know of any that I’ve missed, please let me know in the comments and I’ll add it to the list.

This list is in no particular order  except that of my mind and my research. Bikram’s on the top, because he was top of mind when I started the article, and it went from there.

I’ve also kept details brief so as to avoid a 4000 word behemouth of an article, and linked to relevant YLB articles underneath each name.

1. Bikram Choudhury, founder of Bikram Yoga

Five women filed civil suits against Bikram in 2013 alleging incidents ranging from sexual assault to rape. The cases have yet to be heard. Bikram is famous for making off-colour sexual remarks.

2. John Friend, founder of Anusara Yoga

In February 2012 an anonymous website went up alleging John Friend was guilty of leading a Wiccan Coven, having affairs with married students and Anusara teachers, messing with his employees pension fund and mailing marijuana to himself and expecting employees to deliver it.

John Friend has since relaunched himself with a new brand of yoga called Sridaiva Yoga.

3. Dr. Kausthub Desikachar, grandson of the godfather of Western Yoga, Krishnamacharya

The Krishnamacharya Healing and Yoga Foundation made a public statement on September 22, 2012 saying

…we’ve been made aware of the varying allegations of sexual, mental and emotional abuse against Dr. Kausthub Desikachar. [editor’s note: the allegations were made by four teacher trainees.]

Upholding this tradition and approach in the field of Yoga and Therapy, the Krishnamachraya Healing and Yoga Foundation are taking these allegations very seriously.

Seven months later, Kausthub was back with a new website, and a letter explaining his new beginning:

I realise that some of the decisions that I have made in the past have not been consistent with the high standards that I usually set for myself. I also fully understand and acknowledge that these have had far reaching effects, way beyond myself. There is no way of changing this past. I wholeheartedly repent for what has happened.

4. Amrit Desai, original founder of Kripalu Centre

Amrit, married, confessed to three affairs in 1994 and was forced to resign as spiritual director of his own ashram. While Amrit’s website makes no mention of the affairs or his expulsion from Kripalu, it does says that:

In 2000, after a period of personal reflection and sadhana, Gurudev founded the Amrit Yoga Institute, first located Sumneytown, Pennsylvania and then moved to its current location in Salt Springs, Florida.

Kripalu survived the falling of it’s guru and founder, and restructured its organization to be led by a professional management team, including people who had long been ashram residents. It has thereby became;

“The first traditional yoga ashram founded on the guru-disciple model to transition to a new paradigm of spiritual education.”

However, their website makes no mention of the scandal that almost destroyed them, summing it up in just one innocuous sentence.

In 1994 Yogi Desai resigned as spiritual director of Kripalu.

5. Osho, also known as Bhagwan Shree Rajnees

Oh Osho, where to start? While he’s enjoying a resurgence in popularity as a spiritual leader some twenty years after his death, Osho was a complicated man who got in all kinds of trouble.

It’s alleged he was involved in, or aware of, everything from tax evasion, immigration fraud, prostitution, drug-running, drug use, and he worked his followers to the bone. In India, he was known as the ‘sex guru’, and in the States as the ‘rolls-royce guru’, owning more than 90 at one time.

6. Rodney Yee

In 2002, Rodney was accused of having affairs with some of his yoga students. He divorced his wife of 24 years, Donna Fone, and went on to marry his former yoga student, Colleen Saidman

“In the past, I think I was conveniently ignorant,” says Yee, who has apologized for previous infidelities. “I was pretending to myself that I wasn’t sexual in class.” Now he turns down yoga retreats where the students hang out with the instructors all day, the very setting that gave rise to his affair with Saidman. NYmag.com

7. Swami Muktananda

Oh Guru, Guru, Guru began Lis Harris’ 1994 New Yorker article on the controversy surrounding Swami Muktananda, founder of the Siddha Yoga Path.

Introduced to America in the 1970s by Baba Ram Dass, Muktananda was known as the ‘Guru’s guru’ and was a widely respected teacher of meditation and yoga.

However, many of his followers have since come out and claimed that Muktananda allowed, even encouraged, guns and violence into his ashrams, and grew rich and corrupt from his devotees work efforts.

He also claimed to be completely celibate but it’s alleged that he regularly had sex with female devotees.

Michael Dinga, an Oakland contractor who was head of construction for the ashram and a trustee of the foundation, said the guru’s sexual exploits were common knowledge in the ashram. “It was supposed to be Muktananda’s big secret,” said Dinga, “but since many of the girls were in their early to middle teens, it was hard to keep it secret.” CoEvolution Quarterly

8. Swami Satchidananda

Swami Satchidananda made it big in the USA in the lates 1960s when he was flown in by helicopter to be the opening speaker at Woodstock Music Festival. He went on to found the Yogaville ashram in Virginia and Integral Yoga institutes across the country and, with thousands of devotees, including Lauren Hutton and Carol King, was somewhat of a ‘Yoga superstar’.

But by 1991, the situation had changed:

Protesters waving placards (“Stop the Abuse,” “End the Cover Up”) marched outside a Virginia hotel where he was addressing a symposium.

“How can you call yourself a spiritual instructor,” a former devotee shouted from the audience, “when you have molested me and other women?” New York Times

Satchinanda always denied the accusations against him of sexual misdemeanors, but many of his followers are reported to have left his ashrams and institutes after at least nine women claimed he had sexually abused them.

9. Swami Rama

Described as “a tall man with a strikingly handsome face” Swami Rama founded the Himalayan Institute of Yoga Science and Philosophy, based in Pennsylvania with centers worldwide, as well as various service and teaching organizations. He was also one of the first Yogis to be studied by Western scientists.

Journalist Katharine Websyter spent two years investigating the allegations of sexual abuse against Swami Rama, publishing an article in a 1990 edition of Yoga Journal that documented the experiences of women abused by Rama.

A final blow to Rama’s reputation came just after his death in 1996, when a jury awarded nearly $1.9 million to a young woman who claimed she had been forced to have sex with him up to thirty times when living at the Himalayan Institute in 1993.

He would fixate on a woman and make her a sort of valet, and then he would tell her it was necessary to perform these acts to further her spiritual development,” said Cliff Rieders of Williamsport, one of the woman’s lawyers. Inquirer Harrisburg Bureau

10. Paramahansa Yogananda

A yoga icon and founding father of yoga in the West, Yogananda introduced countless people to yoga with his renowned book ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’.

He was also one of the first Indian yogis to make the move to the USA, spending much of the 1920s and 1930s lecturing and sharing his knowledge of Kriya yoga.

There have been allegations that he fathered several ‘love children’ and that he ran a harem whilst on tour.

The swami had young girls housed next to his room on the third floor of the former hotel, and how they went in and out of the swami’s room at all hours, while older women were housed on a separate floor entirely. NHNE

However, DNA testing recently cleared Yogananda of fathering a child with a married disciple and evidence supporting the other claims against him is not well documented.

11. Swami Kriyananda

Born James Donald Walters, Kriyananda was an American univeristy student who read ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ and left everything to become a disciple of Yogananda. He later founded Ananda Sangha Worldwide.

However, Kriyananda was reportedly ‘thrown out’ of Yogananda’s fellowship and was later sued for violating their copyrights by republishing the writings and recordings of Yogananda.

He was also brought to court for the abuse of Anne-Marie Bertolucci, a former disciple, who claimed she was sexually abused by Kriyananda and another senior leader, and accused the fellowship of fraud. She won the case, and the Ananda Church was ordered to pay $1 million to Bertolucci as compensation. 

The case was given added weight thanks to support from other ex-devotees.

After Bertolucci filed suit, a dozen ex-Ananda members stepped up to support her case. Six women gave sworn testimony detailing various forms of what they considered sexual exploitation by the swami. San Francisco Weekly.

12. Swami Akhandananda Saraswati

Swami Akhandananda was the spiritual leader of Mangrove Ashram, a Satyananda ashram in Australia, from 1974. In 1987 he was charged with 35 counts of sexual abuse against four girls, convicted and sent to prison. His conviction was later over turned by the Australian High Court on a technicality. The Swami died of alcoholism in the late 1990s.

This particular case has recently been re-heard by the Royal Commission Inquiry in Australia. The best summary I’ve found of this Inquiry – which has yet to make it’s final report – is on Matthew Remski’s website. 

While this case was known in Satyananda circles for the past few decades, many who knew about it didn’t know the extent of the abuse. At the inquiry, it was also alleged that many of the other adults at the ahsram, in particular the Swami’s partner Shishy, were aware of what was going on.

Former child resident Alecia Buchanan testified that Shishy was often in the room while Akhandananda raped her. Buchanan was 15 when it began. She also said: “Looking back now, I’m certain some adults at the ashram knew Akhandananda was abusing us girls. We were always coming and going from his hut and other people saw this happening. We were often summoned very publicly over the loudspeaker by the receptionist or by Shishy’s personal assistant, Muktimurti, words to the effect of, ‘Shantibodh, go to swamiji’s office’ late at night.” From Mathew Remski’s article, quoting directly from the Royal Commission documents.

Plus, at the inquiry, fresh allegations have been made against Swami Satyananda himself of abuse, and allegations that his successor (Satyananda died in 2009) Swami Niranjananda entered into sexual relationships with at least one female disciple.

 13. Swami Maheshwarananda

Another ‘Yoga Rockstar’ Maheshwarananda is the founder of Yoga in Daily Life a humanitarian organisation with ashrams all over the world, including here in New Zealand.

However, when on our shores in 2013 the spiritual leader was confronted by an angry former disciple and a TV3 news reporter, accusing him of abusing his female devotees.

Internationally Maheshwarananda has been feeling the heat as well. According to Madison magazine:

A whistleblower set up a website on which several women posted shocking testimonies of alleged betrayal by Swamiji. It appeared the monk, whom ex-followers say claims to be celibate,had routinely abused his powerful status to exploit young female devotees for his own sexual pleasure. While none of these claims would amount to sexual assault, people began to leave.

In Australia, a growing chorus of members demanded answers. By the end of June, 18 senior figures who had been part of Yoga in Daily Life for up to 20 years resigned. This included the entire board. Some were forcibly expelled; other attendees simply stopped coming. Some centres closed down.

14. Swami Shankarananda

The Guru and Director of the Mount Eliza ashram, Shankarananda has allegedly had sex with up to forty female followers.

Although Shankarananda never claimed to be celibate, or demanded it from his students, the revelations have still deeply wounded his followers and community.

A heartfelt blog post from Waverley Yoga Studio sums up some of the grief and confusion:

My heart goes out to everyone who has been affected by the behaviour. Such an abuse of power and trust. And I feel for the women, the husbands and partners of many of these women whose trust has been violated, and indeed for the whole community. At the moment there are a great many people who have chosen to leave and there are still some sitting as his feet. I’m pretty sure all are feeling pain, as I am.

The ashram is now being investigated over allegations of sexual abuse according to Australian newspaper The Age.

15. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

The celibate leader of the widely popular Transcendental Meditation movement, known as the ‘Giggling Guru’ for his high pitched laugh, has been accused of seducing his followers, one of whom has written a book, Robes of Silk, Feet of Clay, about her experiences.

Once adored by The Beatles, all but one of the band broke contact with him over accusations he tried to rape Mia Farrow.

At the time of his death in 2008 the Maharishi had amassed a considerable fortune and lived in a luxurious two hundred room manison according to UK newspaper The Mirror.

It was alleged in 1987 by the Telegraph newspaper of Calcutta that five boys died after being used as guinea pigs at the Transcendental Meditation “medical institute”, which was searching for cures to diseases such as cancer. The allegations were never proven. The Independent.

16. Jivamukti Teacher Ruth Lauer-Manenti

This case came to light in April of 2016, after Slate published an article detailing sexual harrassment allegations against senior Jivamukti teacher Ruth Lauer-Manenti.

Matthew Remski followed up a few weeks later with a more detailed article that included an extensive interview with Holly Faurot – the student who had brought the suit – and also comments by Jivamukti owners Sharon Gannon and David Life.

The allegations name not just  in the suit, but also Gannon and Life and studio director Carlos Menjivar as co-defendants for their role in ‘coving up and condoning’ Laurt-Manenti’s actions. Remski’s article is well-referenced, including links to the documents filed with the courts.

The allegations have cast a light on the  operating practices of Jivamukti.

Do you know of any other incidences that we need to add to this list? Email us with links to sources.

Comments

  1. Monica says

    Hey Kara. Great article on a very topical subject. But I was very disappointed that you did not mention the Swami Maheshwaranada scandal. Yoga in daily life have a big following internationally and its truly tragic that this guru abused his position and took advantage of young women. Especailky sad as these women are often vulnerable and looking for spiritual guidance. The worst thing about all these gurus and teachers is that they are not accountable to anyone. If they were a school teacher they would be promptly deregistered and never able to teach again. Be wary of who you trust.

    • Kara-Leah Grant says

      Hey Monica,

      Of course! I’d heard about the situation with Yoga in Daily Life but didn’t come across it in my research. Will do some more digging and add him to the list. Thank you.

      • Monica says

        Thanks Kara for updating the story and adding in Swami Maheshwarananda. Ideally the NZ Govt would ban people like this from ever coming to NZ again. Trouble is he has never been convicted so he is not legally a criminal. However he is an outrageous criminal in the eyes of all the women he sexually abused!

    • Lucinda Staniland says

      Hi Monica,

      I’ve done some research and added Maheshwarananda to our list. It does seem to be a tragic situation from what I can gather. And it’s especially relevant to our readers because Yoga in Daily Life has a significant following here and in Australia.

      Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

      Lucinda

  2. Carla says

    The reason why yoga has such a bad name in Romania (it’s gone so far that if you tell people you practice it, they look at you as if you’re crazy – mainly because they associate it with Bivolaru&MISA): “Gregorian Bivolaru was an honorary member of European Yoga Council until April 2008, when he was expelled from it and from all affiliated branches.

    Shri Yogacharya Ajita, as President of the European Yoga Council of European Yoga Alliance and Honorary Secretary of the European Federation of Yoga for the European Union, announced the following to the International Yoga Federation : “My official resolution as president of the European Yoga Council of the European Yoga Alliance is that Mihai Stoian, Grieg Bivolaru and all people linked to the MISA/NATHA organization are immediately expelled from our organization and that we stop their membership, because it has been proven that they are not busy with Yoga in whatever form, that they even use Yoga as a cover for illegal practices, that they do not respect the rules and standards of our organization, that they show an unheard lack of moral integrity, and cannot be convinced to change their attitude.”

    According to The Times of India, MISA currently operates under different names in different countries. It is Natha in Denmark and Portugal, Tara in the US and Satya in India.
    (Wikipedia)

  3. Jen says

    I always find it interesting that certain teachers get shunned for consensual sex with students ( even though some are married and I’m not condoning that). However guys like Cameran Shayne can openly talk about it and engage in it. along with a a certain head of an Australian Yoga Group of studios and also many other famous male teachers……but they are never pulled up on it. I find it very hypocritical. Some are crucified…and some are…oh those hot little rascals. I guess that’s the yoga world these days “Do as I preach” “Not as I do”.

  4. Yogini says

    I’m beginning to believe these Guru’s brought the gift of Yoga to the world for a purpose.
    (Not that they were consciously aware of the purpose)

    But, I believe that they have inadvertently revealed to us yogi’s that we are all our own Guru’s.
    and we do not need a “leader” in this realm of Yoga. We may need a ‘teacher’ to introduce us to Yoga, but if we truly practice Yoga, the practice of going inward unites us with our inner Guru.

    Unfortunately, there will always be the male dominant over the female submissive. It happens all the time….and not just in the world of Yoga. It’s everywhere there is a female who ‘allows’ herself to be used and abused, and a male that will exploit that.

    Education, empowerment, connection with ones inner Self is the direction we need to be moving in…both in Yoga and in the world at large.

  5. Nicole says

    I’ve watched hatha yoga become highly sexualized since my childhood in the 70’s. It’s a symptom of our larger culture, yes, but something else is at play.

    Ads in magazines, pictures in catalogs are alluring to a young woman coming into her own identity in a world that places a premium being “hot”, sexy. THIS becomes the point of practice, rather than escaping the pains of the ego, earthly desires.

    Predators seek those who are longing, in truth, to simply be loved, caressed. They are often charismatic, intelligent and expert manipulators.. This happens to children, too.

    Unfortunately, the yoga studio can be a gumbo pot of envy, lust and pride.

  6. Dee says

    Your article was interesting, is there a reason behind listing these scandals? Two teachers i’ve followed intensely are listed in your article and they are two teachers whose yoga i couldn’t continue to follow. I read your other articles about Bikram, particulary the NZ teachers responding to it, and I’m disappointed in their responses. Bikram yoga IS Bikram, it’s not seperate from the man. It’s his yoga, his words, his method in every single class. The teacher’s livelihoods are invested in it which to me must be the reason they’ve said the above (“it’s not the man it’s the yoga”) but i find it very sad. It’s implicitly accepting and allowing abuses to continue if we don’t speak up and say this is not the yoga i thought it was and it’s not okay that the teacher has acted in this way. That also means refraining from specifically spreading and teaching that yoga. (A hard one for Bikram teachers as i think Bikram isn’t YA certified? At least it wasn’t when i did it). And on that note, i wasn’t impressed to see Cameron Shayne continuing his involvement with Wanderlust in NZ but that’s another story!

    • says

      What I find interesting is the article ends stating that the LA distric attorney declined to file any sexual assault charges against Bikram, closing any criminal case due to lack of evidence. Now that I’m aware a civil suit is proceeding, it’ll be interesting to see what information these women bring to the court room (and I guess whether or not it’s credible information at that).

      • Doug says

        The deposition can be read on the YogaDork web site. It is quite detailed, and has been accepted by the court as having merit, along with other civil suits — even though the statute of limitations has technically run out.

        I suggest you read the deposition.

  7. Ailise says

    Thanks for this article. I am trying to remember that sadly wherever we find power and influence, corruption and abuse begin to follow. This is not the fault of yoga, organised religion or leadership but evidence of the weakness of the human condition.

    Anyway, what I would like to ask for is a list of gurus WITHOUT scandal please? Who are the righteous leaders?

  8. says

    A terrific list, and good additions, too. Yoga Journal did an article on allegations against Sri Chinmoy several decades ago– even before my investigation of Swami Rama — but only after Sri Chinmoy had died. If anyone’s interested in reading my take on Swami Rama,, who’s vulnerable to abuse, how members of cults of personality justify the abuse, and how some so-called “gurus” manipulate the terminology and beliefs of religion to suit their own ends, you can read my expose of Swami Rama in the November/December 1990 issue of Yoga Journal, available on Google books.

  9. Tess Lister says

    Dear Kara – Leah,

    You and your readers/ members may be interested in the following “2 minute read” currently on Open ABC (Australia) called “don’t speak against the guru” which refers to the culture of cover up in religious communities when religious leaders commit abuse.

    Feel free to share the link with others (please don’t copy and paste), including via email, website or facebook, if you feel it would be of interest to your readers.

    You can read this short article on ABC Open website here:
    https://open.abc.net.au/explore/09fj7dd

    All the best with your work, including the list of yoga/ teacher scandals.

    Tess

  10. says

    How did beloved “guruji” — K. Pattabhi Jois, the Founder of Ashtanga — get left out of this article?

    This infamous video of him at his perverted worst has repeatedly been posted on Youtube and then has been forcefully removed by the Ashtanga community. But fortunately now you can (at present) watch it on Vimeo, where you can download it (as our students have) and save it for posterity.

    Enjoy (?): https://vimeo.com/70867645

    Modern yoga is rooted in modern biology. It is time to drop everything in it that has to do with fake “gurus.”

  11. says

    Hello Elizabeth,
    I am happy to see you included Sw. Akhandananda of the Satyananda Yoga/Bihar School of Yoga lineage in your list, but I encourage you to give Sw. Satyananda his own listing. While Akhanda got caught and went to jail for sex abuse, he learned everything from his master, who took his secrets to the grave. Myself and 3 other women have publicly testified to having been sexually abused by Satyananda. There are many many more. Bihar School of Yoga has built a global reputation as the paragon of yogic learning, whilst keeping a strict code of silence on the double life led by its founder. Satyananda’s heir, Sw. Niranjan carries on the tradition, presenting himself as a celibate yogi while keeping a harem of young women, just as his master did.

  12. says

    It’s a fucking shame about these bad eggs.
    If a man wants chooses to embrace helping young children by being a teacher he accepts definite contemplation and inevitably accusations of peadopholia.
    If he chooses teaching yoga accepts inevitable charges of some form of sexual harassment.
    Karma though VS undeniable female oppression.
    But interesting to me personally; and surely repels men from perusing Soul-satisfying gigs.
    No Cameron Shane on the list?? He is pretty trendy though.

  13. says

    Om

    Thanks so much for posting this article!

    I was sexually abused by my step-father over the course of three years from ages 10-13. I must say, it was a terrible thing! In many ways, the practice of yoga helped me heal my body and my very being. I am certified to teach Hatha Yoga and spent 2.5 months in India this past year.

    I held my breath when I first began to read Swami Satyananda Saraswati’s writings. His kindness and selflessness to the people of his region was profund. He sent deep messages of sadhana and universality among all people.

    With the recent unraveling of the institutionalized abuses in the worl’d churches of young children, I was not surprised by this article, but nonetheless saddened.

    The statues of limitations are incredibly brief to press criminal charges in most US states. In India, where girls and women are systematically raped in a culture that promotes using girls for the “only thing they’re good for,” there is no protection.

    As those who study the wide breadth of Yoga, we must also open our eyes and see things for what they are. How can I continue to immerse myself in the teachings of a man who abandoned his very own mandates? How I can look beyond this shameless violence? It is my path to find out. I am open to your advice!

    Please see for what things are in your community. Protect your children, your nieces, your students, your neighbors…Report to your local agency any concerns your have, even if the report is insufficient. Our legal system has yet to be designed to support the prosecution of sexual crimes against children.

    If you suffered sexual violence, please know I am with you. Speak and tell your story to those you trust. You have nothing to be ashamed of, not one thing.

    I highly reccommend this book, given to me as a gift by my loving boyfriend, a first person account to begin to understand what being a woman in India continues to mean.
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Bandit-Queen-India-International/dp/1592280382

    Lastly, I’d like to share a poem I wrote several years ago, below.

    Om,

    Anna

    Girl!

    Let yourself manifest.
    No need to wait
    For that man to caress
    Your breast.

    God’s grace erased
    From the surface of your face,
    Origins debated
    You’re just a
    Planet, reincarnated.

    Your scent is everywhere,
    Watch out!
    He’s a hungry bear.

    If you can’t bear
    The childbirth tear,
    Kick him to the curb
    Like a wild mare.

    Easier said.
    Than done.
    For you
    It’s easier
    To be gone.

    Human rights advocate
    Speaks out against
    Your fate –
    His right to mate,
    But it’s too late.

    How can we make
    Peace with his kiss
    On your virgin lips?

    Trembling finger tips,
    Callused hands
    Running over
    Eleven year old tits.

    Witnessing all of it,
    With a machete
    Want to shred him to bits
    But instead throw paper fits.

    • Kara-Leah Grant says

      Hey Anna,

      Many thanks for your comment and poem. You share a powerful message and it’s much appreciated.

      Many blessings,
      KL

  14. says

    What most people should be doing is thanking these men. You should be thankful that they messed up and made human mistakes. Because then you can take them off the pedestal in your mind and allow yourself to forgive them. And anyone else who has made human errors in judgement and character.

    As you are human and make many bad decisions also. You are the guru. You are the only person alive that can be a guru to yourself. When you put your trust in some “guru” you are giving away your power to them. You own your power its yours. You can either choose to give it away and admit you are a helpless person and trust in someone else to save you. Or you can own and harness your own power and use it to awaken your god power within you. Choice is yours.

    Its your responsibility to be the guru to yourself.

    Some accountability should be taken in for the women. Women have choices and they either seduced or allowed the sexual energy to awaken. Unless they were forcefully raped then the women are equally to blame.

    • Kara-Leah Grant says

      Hey Erik,

      Bold claims. A comment isn’t the right forum to unpack everything you’ve said here. Who is more accountable? The one with the most power or the one with the least – even if the one with the least is unaware yet of their own power or that they are giving it away?

    • says

      Eric,

      That was shared with love, grace and clarity.

      I feel that there is much insight and wisdom in your conversation.

      Thank you!

      Blessings,

      Jivana

  15. says

    I encourage you to check out the book Sex and the Spiritual Teacher: Why It Happens, When It’s a Problem, and What We All Can Do by Scott Edelstein. It has a variety of thoughtful insights and conclusions.

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