I’m a-changin’… of that there is no doubt.
And it’s the most wonderful thing. In situations that I would have run a mile from just three or so weeks ago, I find myself stepping up to the plate, beating heart and all, and dealing with calmly and clearly.
This week during my eleven minute practice of sodarshan chakra kriya, I have found myself breathless far more than last week.
It’s important in pranayama not to force anything, so when I feel breathless, I have a choice. Do I push on through and continue with the breathing, or do I take a break until my breathing feels calm again? I’ve been opting to walk the middle road here, continuing on with the pranayama but not doing the breath pumps or mantra until I feel calm again. It usually only takes a couple of rounds of inhaling and exhaling (through alternate nostrils) to start the pumping and mantra again.
In the last week or so, I’ve been feeling far more grounded, more in my body, than ever before. My asana practice has shifted too – from being predominantly standing postures to being far more seated postures.
In particular, one sunny afternoon while out on my meditation seat in our garden, I was going through a series of spontaneous prana flow asana. In the middle of this flow, I felt this sensation of pouring energy going through my sitting bones (I was cross legged) and down into the ground. It was like all of a sudden, I could feel the earth beneath me, I could feel the connection between my pelvis and the ground. It was magical! And from there, my seated postures have just flowed – like there was a huge pranic blockage in my first chakra that has been cleared.
I’ve also noticed lots of spasms in each butt cheek throughout the day, and releases through the front of my hips. When I stand, I can feel my feet on the ground in a real and solid way that didn’t exist previously. It’s like I was only living in half of my body!
Feeling your connection within your body change so much is extraordinary – the way we feel inside ourselves is something we tend to take for granted because it’s not likely to change much – unless we injure ourselves in some way. Having all of these sensations and feelings begin for the first time that I can remember is akin to waking up. It’s extraordinary. I feel like I’m walking around in a new body.
I’m experiencing more and more prana within my body, and sometimes it feels like tiny knots and tight spots are being released in a constant flowing stream. This sensation of release is something I first noticed back in 2000 after several sessions with an amazing Maui-based healer called Dennis Prince. After my last session with him, I had my first ever natural heart-opening experience and it blew me away. I’d never felt anything so profound, so sweet, so connected or so open.
That experience seemed to kick start my experience of prana. Initially, I would feel movement and releases in my lower spine, but over the years, it’s slowly worked it’s way up my spine and it now happening in my neck and chin area. All it takes to initiate it is for me to drop into full, conscious breathing and be totally present. This kriya seems to have sped up the process, or perhaps made me more sensitive to it.
Coming into my last ten days, I am over the moon that I committed to this sadhana. It has been absolutely perfect for me – and the timing couldn’t be better either. I finish this forty days the day before starting more teacher training with Twee Merrigan, and then the week after that, Taisuke Tanimura and I are kick starting Prana Flow Yoga NZ classes.
Bring it on!
Oh, one last thing. It’s not me changing… but… last night my partner announced that he wanted to do five sun salutations first thing in the morning. And this morning when we got up, he did. First time ever. No prompting on my part (I’d long ago given up encouraging him to get into yoga, figuring he’d get to it when he got to it). Afterward, he said “That felt good! I’m going make it happen every morning.”
Yeah for yoga!
Read the next post in this series here: